The Daily Quiveration: Tom Brady

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

Leaving Gisele’s apartment. Sigh. Life really, really, really isn’t fair. But remember my Celebrity Baby Theory, the Goddess’s way of balancing things out: Hot + hot = Ugly Hot + average = Fairly attractive Average + Average = Hot Horse face stars + gay husbands = Cute Hot + Ugly = Ugly Average + Ugly = Uglier Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace Hang on to that. Full Story

Lilo: Horny & Hungry?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 00:00:00 January 31, 2007 00:00:00

Us Weekly is reporting that Lindsay has found herself a new fixation: McDonalds for her stomach, Brody Jenner for her privates.   And rather than pursuing her needs the old fashioned way, she has taken to texting him her request, writing in what was likely broken English that all she wants is “McDonalds and sex”. Full Story

Desperately Saving Factory Girl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

A movie with huge expectations, beset by production delays and drama on the set, release date pushed back into obscurity, despite heavy campaigning by its producer, and now blasted by critics – no wonder Harvey Weinstein had to do SOMETHING. The problem is, allegedly leaking this kind of story via the NY Daily News is pathetic at best…and even an amateur gossip can see through that bullsh*t. Full Story

Girlcrushing on Natalie Portman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

I can’t say enough about Natalie Portman. At the premiere of Goya’s Ghosts. Simply put, she is perfection. Gorgessity. Every superlative applicable is applicable. And did you know that Natalie sits on the Harvard Committee for the Hasty Pudding Awards? Female recipient this year is none other than Scarlett Johansson with whom Natalie co-stars in The Other Boleyn Girl…so much for those reports that they don’t get along. Full Story

The Pip Type

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

New cover of Us Weekly – How Jessica Biel Stole Justin. Sigh. I have several issues. First…with all due respect as she seems like a relatively nice non-drug-using, non-badly behaved girl, who the hell is Jessica Biel???? Rhetorical question. But still. She was in some Brady Bunch tv show. Full Story

Beyonce: cheap ass bitter bitch?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

Hmmm…hardly surprising. Poor thing probably still has plug up her ass about Jennifer Hudson stealing her thunder…and now she appears to be taking it out on the working class. TMZ is reporting that B is getting ready for a new video, working on choreography, hiring dancers. However, her record label is apparently not fronting the bill, leaving B to pay for expenses herself. Full Story

Pity the Nose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

She has called People Magazine a tabloid before, she has said repeatedly she doesn’t care for the trash perpetuated in gossip rags. And yet…when Jennifer Aniston wants to fellate the MiniVan Majority, when she wants to make sure her status as America’s Sweetheart remains unblemished, she goes running back to People for an “exclusive” interview for no other reason than to talk about appearing in her best friend’s new tv show Dirt, Courteney Cox’s collaborative effort with husband David Arquette. Full Story

Happy Birthday Pipsqueak!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

Justin Timberlake turned 26 today. Maybe his balls have finally dropped?  Full Story

The Daily Rossum: Victoria Beckham

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

She’s hawking her own line of high end clothing – according to UK tabloids she’s hired model Daniella Sarahyba as the face of her designs. The reason: Danielle is what Posh calls “voluptuous”, specifically chosen because Mrs Beckham does not want to promote excessive thinness, preferring instead to show young girls what a healthy body looks like. Full Story

Kate’s True Love

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

How in love do you have to be? Big scoop by the London Sun today – a video of Pete Doherty taken shortly after celebrating their Buddhist wedding in Thailand, he apparently left Kate at the resort, hooked up with three complete strangers, went back to their dinky hotel room and proceeded to shoot cocaine … reportedly 3 times in the space of less than 3 hours, sometimes nodding off mid injection. Full Story

Tara Reid: Redefining 31

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

Born November 1975. And remember…she’s HAD surgery. She’s BEEN to the surgeon’s. She’s had work done and she’s had work to correct the original work being done. And still Tara Reid looks like this. At 31!!! No exaggeration, my mother doesn’t even look this bad or this haggard and she’s going on 57 after multiple surgeries, two failed kidneys, several infections, and a transplant. Full Story