Douchebag Hates Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2008 08:31:03 February 12, 2008 08:31:03

Please welcome John Mayer onto the Freebie Five. Not because he was the hotness on stage with Alicia Keys at the Grammys, even though he did indeed fire up the loins the way he grooved to the beat with his hair and his pants (click here for the clip Full Story

The Prude & The Harlot

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2008 07:39:27 February 12, 2008 07:39:27

The Other Boleyn Girl is due out in 2 weeks – new issue of W Magazine features Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson on the cover quivering your loins. Both of them together? I totally would. During the interview, Scarjo and Nat address their public images – Natalie is the “prude”, and Scarlett is the self-proclaimed “harlot” who has been publicly criticised for saying in the past that she doesn’t believe “humans are monogamous by nature”. Full Story

February 12, 2008 - Smutty Shout-outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2008 00:00:00 February 12, 2008 00:00:00

Congratulations to Jen who welcomed new baby Alicia the other day! To darling Roberto…when work gets you down, think of what Celine Dion would say. Add let a little cheesy inspiration into your life. Chin up and chest thumps, honey! Feel better! For Riza – happy 31st and all the best to you and Raphael! Dear Elizabeth in Chicago – congratulations on your engagement, and thank you so much for your smutty support. Full Story

Monday, February 11, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Did you watch the Grammy Awards? Is Tina Turner the fiercest bitch ever, or what?

Busy, busy weekend in entertainment as Grammys, BAFTAs, Berlin Film Festival, gala art museum drawing major celebrities, all at the same time. Please scroll down for Sunday postings and click on “View More Articles”. It was a 22-article day yesterday and today will be heavy too!

Best and Worst at Grammys, new riddles and embedded clues, and more! Monday – live blogging, check back often.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Christian Bale and Jude Law are not having trouble finding good help.

Bored at the BAFTAs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2008 00:00:00 February 11, 2008 00:00:00

Dear Keira, We get it. You don’t want to be there. You hate getting dressed up and having people judge you and gawking at your purported beauty. You’re 22 and the world is black and depressing. You thumb through a first edition of The Bell Jar every night before bedtime. Hollywood sucks. Full Story

Jess Goes to the Pro Bowl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2008 00:00:00 February 11, 2008 00:00:00

Tony Romo played in the Pro Bowl yesterday and Jessica Simpson tagged along for yet another weekend holiday, not wanting to be away from her man during a testosterone-fueled weekend in Hawaii. Here they are arriving at their hotel Saturday looking super cute. Holy sh*t her cans are massive! And how will the totally unproven, winless in the playoffs, 6 year, 67 million dollar Romo spend his off season? Bet your big Texas tits there will be at least 2 more vacations to come. Full Story

Grammy Worst Dressed: Carrie Underwood

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2008 00:00:00 February 11, 2008 00:00:00

Didn’t think it was possible but this hair is actually WORSE than Ken Paves. When you can actually SEE the line of the hairpiece, it’s pretty much rock bottom hair. In these times, with this kind of access, it is CRIMINAL to rock a cheap weave. CRIMINAL. What makes it even more pathetic is that you can practically smell her objective. Full Story

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Best Grammy Douchebag: John Mayer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2008 12:19:28 February 11, 2008 12:19:28

OK so John Mayer was kinda hot with Alicia Keys with his hair all messy sexy, in his jacket and wearing the hell out of his jeans. He’s a limp dick when he’s performing his own limp dick music, but on the strength of Alicia’s sounds, I admit…the loins did quiver. Not enough to let him piss on me in the shower, but definitely just a shower. Full Story

Grammy Best Dressed: Fergie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2008 12:10:27 February 11, 2008 12:10:27

I am as shocked as you are. But a few things about Fergie warmed my heart last night. First – she looks great in yellow. And whatever fillers they’re putting in her face these days are working. As you can, the improvement is undeniable, considering I can actually hold down lunch. Word is she curbed the hard life in 2007. Full Story

Take Coke for the Pain

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2008 10:20:14 February 11, 2008 10:20:14

Love hurts. Her pride hurts. Betrayed and humiliated, she’s taking a break from her relationship woes and has decided to dash off on holiday with friends. Fun in the sun and a boozy vacay – perhaps what she needs to put things in perspective. But upon arrival, she decided alcohol was apparently not enough. Full Story

Grammy Best Dressed: Akon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2008 09:48:03 February 11, 2008 09:48:03

His onstage antics are gross, absolutely, but Akon rocked it last night, confirming that a relic like Diddy really does belong at Dillards. The jacket, the low key tee, and pants that hang perfectly… it’s really too bad he’s such a dirty perv. Full Story