Making Sense of Beyonce

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 8, 2007 12:00:00 March 8, 2007 12:00:00

The cheap ass clothing, the cheap ass weave, the fact that she lets her mother dress her in cheap ass attire, the cheap ass way her House of Desh-t ads were conceived, hiring a cheap ass marketing firm that can’t come up with a proper tagline – it’s all clear to me now. Full Story

The Daily Bitch … Please: Victoria Beckham

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 8, 2007 12:00:00 March 8, 2007 12:00:00

Precisely why I worship her: the Chav, the concrete tits, the c*ckblow lips, the posing, the posturing, and now this… Posh lamenting about being away from David, about how hard it is, how her heart aches at the separation, how her CONSTANT jaunts to Los Angeles to shop and househunt tear apart her heart because she misses him so much. Full Story

The Daily Denise Richards: Hollywood Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 8, 2007 12:00:00 March 8, 2007 12:00:00

Both bitches, both have attempted to injure the elderly. As you know, Denise did it when she threw a laptop for no reason off a balcony and hit a couple of old ladies on ground level and now Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton has added Golden Girls to the lost list of constituencies that hate her. Full Story

Being Honest with my Kiki

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 8, 2007 12:00:00 March 8, 2007 12:00:00

New W Magazine - the clothes are great but some shots of her face are kinda bunk. Especially the cover. And the one in red. Other than those two – love, love, love. Better still, love the article, love the candour. She admits to major disappointment over the failure of Marie Antoinette and she’s honest about how she shamelessly pimped the film, blaming its eventual box office rejection to “bad taste” – petulant, yes, but she does have a point. Full Story

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 Dear Gossips: ”If only more people knew what a rare and beautiful thing they"re missing: a drama that sets the bar much higher than it has to, daring to take on the romance and heartbreak of being a teenager with honesty, compassion and wit,” from Salon.com’s glowing review of my favourite show Friday Night Lights. I know you’re tired of the endless pimp but if mindless drivel like Dancing with the Stars can survive into 3 seasons, why is it that the best show on television according to Time, Entertainment Weekly, the New York Times etc etc etc – BAR NONE – will only last one? See? Good taste is going down the sh-tter. Click here for the full article, an eloquent and articulate explanation as to why Friday Night Lights is, for the last time, NOT about Football and why it is SO MUCH BETTER than Grey’s Anatomy. Wednesday, live blogging today, check often and don’t forget Borat. Scroll down for details. Yours in gossip, Lainey

Being Kind to Fergie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 7, 2007 12:00:00 March 7, 2007 12:00:00

Sigh. A little piece of me has just died knowing that I’m about to write what I’m about to write. But … I think she looks good. Helps of course that the camera is so far away, far enough away so that the really frightening bits on her face aren’t magnified and still, in the spirit of objectivity, I gotta say the girl is fit. Full Story

The Daily Rumour: Reese & Jake?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 7, 2007 12:00:00 March 7, 2007 12:00:00

So this OK Magazine report that they were hooking up in NYC last week, clandestine visits in hotel rooms and now everyone is losing their sh-t over a potential new golden couple in Hollywood. Trust me, I wish for it too. Because aside from that brief bout of award sulk last year, Jake is actually hilarious. Full Story

Saving Britney: JT & Timbaland to the Rescue??!!??

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 7, 2007 12:00:00 March 7, 2007 12:00:00

Apparently Timbaland wants to do it – record with Britney, “save” her career, take her away and make great music and make it all better. And he says that Pip is open to it too – so long as she’s serious and works hard. Hope, gossips. See? It’s called hope. If major players are still willing to go there, to lift her up, maybe exploit her a little (who are we kidding –they’d make a killing!) our girl ain’t dead yet. Full Story

Lindsay Lohan: Becoming Dina

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 7, 2007 12:00:00 March 7, 2007 12:00:00

Lighter locks and the growing resemblance is frightening - mother daughter morph made even more alarming by Dina’s apparent quest to live vicariously through her kid. Lilo does have lovely extensions though, don’t you think? And NOT the work of Ken Paves. Maybe Jessica Simpson should defect? Oh and by the way – all this partying, almost every night, immediately after exiting treatment… she quite the Wonder Girl, don’t you think? When other patients are directed to change their habits and remove the influences, Lindsay can stay clean even in the drug-infested Hollywood clubworld by virtue of sheer will power alone. Full Story

Bearing the Little Sister Burden

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 7, 2007 12:00:00 March 7, 2007 12:00:00

Her name is Hania, she’s Mischa Barton’s younger sister, also an actor, rumoured to have been admitted to rehab for addiction to prescriptions drugs and I can only presume that the Ashlee Simpson Syndrome is going on here, only instead of manifesting itself in the form of a remodeled nose, she’s chosen to handle it by eliminating food – or so it appears anyway. Full Story

The Cover Pitts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 7, 2007 12:00:00 March 7, 2007 12:00:00

Us Weekly and People have both put the Family on the cover, pimping the Pitts who are always good to sell at newsstands… and why not? Look at them! Nothing new in terms of content: it’s a boy, around 4 years old, they began the procedure months ago, could be a while yet before they bring him home – all things you already know. Full Story