From Iraq to the Zoo!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 13:36:11 August 30, 2007 13:36:11

This just in! Laineygossip.com reader Paula saw Angelina and the children in Central Park today. Fresh off her humanitarian mission to the Middle East, Jolie is back on Mommy duty as Brad goes to work. Below – Paula’s observations unedited. FYI: the anti-Angelina faction will be unhappy…The Chosen One was actually with her mother! PS. Full Story

Like Clockwork

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 13:23:04 August 30, 2007 13:23:04

Quelle surprise… Charlie Sheen has been on the offensive, calling out his famewhore of an ex wife for deliberately arranging for paparazzi to be present on an outing with his fiancee, revealing that she formally submitted a request for his sperm to mother a third child and taking exception to her sending an assistant to “spy” on him during custodial visits. Full Story

Taupe in Tokyo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 10:19:13 August 30, 2007 10:19:13

Jennifer Garner is still Taupe…more taupe than ever, actually, but taupe isn’t always a bad thing. Taupe can be lovely…boring, but lovely. Taupe can be fresh faced. Taupe can have dimples and please the MiniVan to no end. And Taupe has found herself in Tokyo promoting The Kingdom. Full Story

The Daily Gorgessity: Ageless and the Bean

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 00:00:00 August 30, 2007 00:00:00

The Ageless Michelle Yeoh in Venice for the premiere of Far North. And for those of you who quiver for it, there’s a taste of the Bean. Growing up watching Hong Kong cinema, I’ve been looking at this woman now for 20 years. She STILL looks the same - maybe even better. And she totally reinvented herself to stay relevant. Full Story

Did You Know?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 09:35:20 August 30, 2007 09:35:20

That the healthy living Alba Demon smokes ciggies? Exclusive photos from Toronto tonight on eTalk etalk.ctv.ca! See? They all stay thin through smoking…especially the ones who claim to drink water and eat chicken breast only. Anyway, as you know, the snarling bitch is back with the brilliantly named Cash Warren. Full Story

Green Hats and the Curse of the Fook

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 00:00:00 August 30, 2007 00:00:00

Chinese people don’t wear green hats. Wearing a green hat means you’ve been cuckolded and who wants to walk around advertising that they’ve been chumped? Check out Lucy Liu on the set of Cashmere Mafia the other day. Hopefully she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And too bad whoever’s styling this set sucks ass. Full Story

Samantha Micelli forever

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 08:24:14 August 30, 2007 08:24:14

This bitch never ages…she must be part Asian. She’ll look like hell when she’s 60, poor thing. Have always loved Alyssa Milano. My cousin Cat and I used to live for Who’s the Boss. I always thought she looked a little like Sam, especially when teasing your bangs was the thing to do. Full Story

Save her nose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 08:19:59 August 30, 2007 08:19:59

Here’s Lilo on the pages of Zoo from Germany. Under the right light, when she’s not coked off her tree, when her face isn’t dirty from self tanner or sh-tty foundation Lindsay Lohan is a beautiful girl. And that nose – for someone born with a fat Asian hawk nose – that’s the kind of nose I call the perfect nose. Full Story

Trading Slaps

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 00:00:00 August 30, 2007 00:00:00

So Bridget Moynahan had her baby. Tom Brady was apparently at the hospital but not permitted inside for the birth. Word is he did spend some time with the boy before being told his mother wanted to limit his involvement. And despite telling teammates and even announcing on the field during a pre-season NFL game last week that the child had been christened with his own last name, Bridget’s publicist made it very clear this week that motherhood has not tamed Bridget’s bitch. Full Story

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Britney’s new song to drop right after Labour Day? Clever timing too…back to school, back to work, and just in time for her rumoured VMA performance? More on that later.

Relief – Gisele Bundchen will NOT be degrading herself on Dancing with the Stars. Shockingly enough, Tori Spelling will not be appearing either. KFed Jr must be so pissed.

And while Angelina did her duty in Iraq, with only her bodyguard and no entourage, Brad Pitt took Miss Zahara out for a carriage ride. Bet your boob job the MiniVan Majority WON’T be foaming at the mouth and accusing him of neglecting the Chosen One. Why is that?

Wednesday, am posting all day today, check back often, and more apologies for the site’s ongoing performance issues.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Herm Ass or Shelf Ass?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 29, 2007 14:46:17 August 29, 2007 14:46:17

I say Herm Ass. If I had my pick, I’d take Cam’s ass over Biel’s any time. Have a look – Cameron shooting a scene with Ashton Kutcher in NYC for What Happens in Vegas. As you can see, this dress is unforgiving. And Cam’s ass has nothing to be sorry for. She looks incredible… though I wonder if her wardrobe for this film is probably going to be the best thing about it. Full Story