Opening Cannes!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

Just got back from the opening ceremony – killer activity on the Croisette tonight. Not only on the carpet but further along the beach… Jerry Seinfeld...and Jakey Gyllenhaal too! I will say this: he deserves his spot on the Freebie Five. Especially now in the flesh. And the most surprising quiveration coming from the most unlikely source…more on that later. Full Story

Pip & Ass go public

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

Definitely not Rachel Stevens, see? JT and Jessica kissing – can’t miss that shelf ass. So anyway…Do they look right to you? To me they don’t look right. Like Scarlett and Ryan Reynolds look right. And Tom and Gisele. But Pip and Biel? Something’s off. Can’t put my finger on it. Full Story

Killing the Perfect Ending

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

“The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself”…so very Oprah cheese but the way it ended, Sex and the City, with Samantha writhing on top of Smith and Miranda in Brooklyn and Charlotte with a Chinese baby and many, many puppies, and of course “John” popping up on Carrie’s cell – it was perfect. Full Story

The Bestsellers

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

Always. For 2 years these three have sold out newsstands and as much as people claim they don’t care, they clearly still care. Smart Janice Min - anything to get the MiniVan Majority riled up behind their pity poster girl, and this week is more of the same. Janice obviously still has it hard up for the Pitts and coupled with the fact that People Magazine will be workin’ in Brad and Angelina’s favour in Cannes, the folks at Us Weekly, on the heels of their story last week about other tabloids always getting it wrong when it comes to the Pitts, are putting a top seller out this week: the Triangle forever. Full Story

The Past and The Present

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

I can’t. I can’t understand. Maybe it’s just me. I must be a lesser person. But kissing him, his open sores, his crack mouth, his bleeding gums – I couldn’t. Not in a million years could I. But Kate Moss evidently can. And she wants to. Over and over again she wants to. Full Story

The Posh Cover-Up

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

You will love this. Although she really should, Victoria Beckham doesn’t believe in smiling. Victoria Beckham believes in sucking in – concave stomach AND cheekbones – for the pappies. Mouth in a perpetual pout, leftover dreams of supermodel ambitions never come true. So what happens when Posh inadvertently laughs when the cameras are turned on? Check it out – a frame by frame (my interpretation) play by play on Posh breaking character…love, love, love. Full Story

Ummm…no you’re not

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

Dream on, punk. Hot is Scarlett Johansson. Hot is Scarlett and Ryan Reynolds turning up the heat on their relationship. Hot is picturing the two of them mashing their two gorgeous bodies together. Hot is NOT Avril Lavigne. And hot is most definitely not Avril Lavigne with her top off on the cover of Blender… Hot? No. Full Story

Pathological

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

You know these two…they sound exactly the same, don’t they? A thousand excuses for everything and that mantra over and over again: She is an actor, she just wants to act. Are you rolling your eyes? If so, get ready to permanently lodge them in the back of your head. Because Dina Lohan granted an exclusive interview to Us Weekly yesterday – the same publication that called her daughter out on drug use a few weeks ago! – to address, or more accurately NOT address, the Coke Tape scandal and her child’s dramatic life…in other words, more vicarious living, more living off her kid’s spotlight. Full Story

Not Rachel Stevens

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

Many of you emailed yesterday, noting that the girl with Justin Timberlake in the UK looked more like Rachel Stevens than Jessica Biel, as identified by British gossips. Have a look - more photos attached, the face is still not clear but that shelf ass is unmistakable, gossips…it’s Jessica Biel. Full Story

Surprising… No Egos Here

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2007 00:00:00 May 16, 2007 00:00:00

The best time of their lives, and it certainly looks that way, non? British rags are said to be highly disappointed that the two young starlets, dramatic in their own unique ways, have been getting on beautifully on the set of their new movie, getting along so well in fact that it’s been impossible even to make up a story – tragic, non? I’m told Keira and Sienna aren’t super close but they are professional, they respect each other, they are friendly, and they are having a great time without having to be best friends. Full Story

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Dear Gossips,

French women are so ridiculously beautiful and chic – it’s a form of entertainment just watching them. Dylan calls them Weapons of Ass Destruction… we’ve been ogling for 2 straight days along the Croisette in Cannes – is that pervy?

Festival madness is officially upon us. Tomorrow it’s My Blueberry Nights: Norah Jones’s much anticipated feature film debut. The movie will be presented right after the opening ceremony – Norah and Jude Law and director Wong Kar Wai will be walking the carpet. And if you’ve seen In the Mood for Love, you are probably well aware of his work…which is why this one is the one to watch. Wong’s first English language picture has everyone talking. Will keep you posted.

Went through my press package today – turns out Colin Firth is scheduled to attend next week in support of his latest St Trinian’s. Hello Quiver. More quiver also in the form of Bond himself, Daniel Craig for The Golden Compass. A chance to be within striking distance of a member of my Freebie Five? Goddess help my loins.

All the action from Cannes – and Hollywood too! - stay tuned.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Good luck to Lorraine who is getting married in 10 days. Congratulations! I know it’s been a rough go but hang in there and all the best!