Monday, February 12, 2007 Dear Gossips, I am from Canada. I love Canada. And as much as you are true to your own country, I will always be true to mine. But Canada is missing one thing. Canada is missing… TARGET. Or Targé. I get weak for Targé, probably not something to be proud of but when I’m standing inside, looking at an entire wall of dog toys – the cutest dog toys – and later on a pair of camouflage leggings for $5.99…seriously, how can you go wrong? Big hug to dear, lovely Cathy for taking a Canadian shopping today in Ft Lauderdale. You’ve been supporting my smut forever…thank you, love you, owe you. More Floridian gratitude to come. Still in Ft Lauderdale, leaving on Tuesday…and is Forest Whitaker a sexy beast or what? Adorable on Saturday Night Live and Keith Urban wasn’t bad either, especially now that the highlights have been turned off and he did seem charmingly humble. I can now almost see his appeal which of course only underscores the overwhelming disappointment about The Freeze. Monday – double award coverage: the BAFTAs and the Grammys and rounding up the weekend. Live blogging, check back often, scroll down and click VIEW MORE ARTICLES for late Friday posts you may have missed. Several articles were updated in the afternoon. Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. It’s a long, long, long column today. Please keep scrolling, keep clicking on VIEW MORE ARTICLES – otherwise you might miss a new riddle. PPS. I apologise for insulting your intelligence – just a reminder that real time blogging works in reverse chronological order, newer posts appear closer to the top. Sorry, just making sure…some folks are new to it.

The Death of Good Taste

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Norbit ruled the box office this weekend.   Norbit. Starring Eddie Murphy in a fat suit, mauled by critics, panned by insiders, and still somehow it climbed to the top of the movie mountain. Personal preference is paramount…absolutely. But seriously, doesn’t a film like Norbit, essentially the same recycled, rehashed garbage previously released as The Nutty Professor – doesn’t a film like this, all films like this, don’t they defy the standard difference of opinion and just qualify as pure, unadulterated SH-T??? And for that matter – who outside of white trash would actually consider THIS an elegant, classy wedding invitation??? …tha F&CK??? Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, supposedly it’s theirs. Full Story

The Daily Rossum: Jess & John after Grammy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Not a prom photo. Or the kind of shot that comes when you buy a new picture frame. This is Jessica Simpson gazing adoringly at John Mayer at the Sony/BMG party last night post-Grammys. As you can see, he is staring adoringly back. In fact, he’s not only staring, it actually looks like he’s leering. Full Story

The GMD & Katie: every party…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Gay Midget Dwarf, new party whore. Seriously…dude is EVERYWHERE. At the Globes, at the SAGs, at the Superbowl, at the Grammys, Tom Cruise is pounding the circuit for UA, and draggin’ that poor thing along with him…dragging being the operative word. Not that you can tell from one photo, a judgement based on one photo isn’t exactly reliable, but check out the contrast between his eager beaver grin and her tolerant smile – like she’s indulging a little kid who wants to stay at the pool for five more minutes. Full Story

Grammy Worst Dressed: Mandy Moore

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Didn’t want to do this. Pained to do it but it has to be said: Mandy dropped the ball. Much as I love her, Mandy disappointed. Badly. And you know what Mandy? We get it. You were depressed. You were cheerful and optimistic and you finally met the Darkness. We get it. But please don’t be That Girl. Full Story

Best Dressed: Christina Ricci

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

She came out of nowhere but no one was more beautiful tonight than Christina Ricci. The gown – total gorgessity. And her skin, her hair, she’s getting older, her features are becoming more pronounced, more defined, and it turns out Christina Ricci has the most amazing nose. Believe me, I know noses. Full Story

Worst Grammy Single: Hilary Duff

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Source Damn girl. Pull. It. Together. I can’t... I don’t… there are no words. Because while Drew and Kylie and Mischa and Sophia Bush, while all of these ladies are bringing Sexy to Single, Hilary Duff seems to be suffering from a serious Nicole Richie kick in the ass. Full Story

Best Anti-Jessica: Carrie Underwood

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Rumoured to be a hardcore bitch but hey – at least she’s a professional. Carrie Underwood won the award for New Artist of the Year. She also performed during a tribute and shocker of shockers – she managed to remember all the words. Unlike Jessica Simpson who, if you recall, couldn’t hold her sh-t together at the Kennedy Center Honours for Dolly Parton. Full Story

Best Grammy Girls: Dixie Chicks

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Natalie couldn’t help but gloat a little…and why not. Redemption looks great and redemption feels even better. In fact, nothin’ feels better than a great big F&ck You. And let’s just pretend her white dress during their performance didn’t happen, ok? Feast your eyes instead on Emily’s black dress, easily my personal favourite of the night for the way it fell and the asymmetrical straps… strangely not feng shui compliant, at least upon initial review, but my mother says it actually does have balance because both sides sit on the same spot, achieving equilibrium and therefore their main event sweep…which is encouraging. Full Story

Best Black: Scarlett Johansson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Please don’t tell me you don’t think she looked un-f&cking-believable last night. Please. Don’t. As for her recent insistence that she and JT are “just friends”… again, Please.Don’t. Scarlett had the esteemed honour of co-presenting the final award of the night. Pip was in the running for Album of the Year. Full Story

Best Tie: Pipsqueak in a Suit

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Source Definitely not Jake Gyllenhaal but have a look at that tie. That tie is a thing of beauty. Grey suit, brown sparkly tie… fantastic. It’s so hard to spice up menswear. Kinda impressive that Pip was the one to do it.  Full Story