The One Adjective Family

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 4, 2007 00:00:00 June 4, 2007 00:00:00

The life of the Cruises: Katie, Tom, and Little Sci…only one word applies. AMAZING. Everything is amazing. Amazing times 1,000. Amazing all over the place. Skepticism aside, you’d think the Church of Scientology could afford a Thesaurus? New interview to air Monday, Katie waxes amazing on her life, on motherhood, on Tom’s gifts as a father, on her stepchildren and as you would expect… they all share the same attribute. Full Story

Friday, June 1, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Am flirting with 100. And anyone who plays golf will know, that’s a big deal. Career best 102 the other day, determined to go under this weekend.

LOVE golf. HATE that golf is used by little twats like Jessica Alba to deflect from a sexpot image.

“I like to play golf. Is that real dorky?”

No, bitch. The fact that you’re suggesting that someone who looks like you plays golf might be dorky is f&cking dorky. And she says she can drive the ball 200 yards too.

More on that later.

Finally Friday and Posh wakes up? She must have smelled his cheat, decided to stay close. Girl is selfish but she sure ain’t stupid.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Past Prime?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

I’m sorry…please don’t be angry. I realise there’s a fondness in your hearts for Adam Brody – Seth was quirky and cute and smart and articulate and gawky hot all at the same time. Similarly, Adam’s relationship with Rachel Bilson was the stuff of teenybop wet dreams. Full Story

Vocal Rossum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

Two months of Rossum-free existence accumulated to form one large bout of nausea…all captured on her MySpace! So apparently Emmy Rossum, for lack of a bonafide acting career, is now looking to release an album. Full Story

Ass Talk

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

There’s something to be said about the beauty of Managed Expectations, you know? Some people get it, some people don’t overreach – broken record, I know, and still every day, another two bit tv actress comes along and wants to be Cate Blanchett. Which is why it’s so refreshing that Katie Heigl has no such delusions. Full Story

Tights and Boots and BFFs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

Lindsay Lohan not welcome!!! Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller in London the other night, tightly bonded after working together over the last few weeks on The Edge of Love, formerly the Best Time of Our Lives about Dylan Thomas and his women. Rather than letting professional rivalry get in the way, the two appear to have found in one another a kindred spirit – friends who understand the business but who are also, at heart, two girls with girl problems and girl hang-ups. Full Story

Applauding Contrition

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

If only they were all so contrite, the tabloids – the bullsh-t from Life & Style and Star Magazine, Brad and Angelina splitting one week and pregnant the next – if only they’d pull a Page Six…and this is why I say Page Six is gossip scripture.Yesterday"s confusing report Full Story

Posh Flops & Bails

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

You saw the video the other day edited and manipulated to show a couple on the rocks, and you’ve heard the gossip – now that Becks is being welcomed back to represent his country, his enthusiasm about an American move is supposedly waning and his dissatisfaction over his wife’s constant absences is taking its toll. Full Story

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Dear Gossips,

What do you think when you hear: Talk to me Goose…?

It was on last night, in HD no less. So being the HD whore, my husband made us watch. Amazing to think it’s been twenty years. TWENTY years. And you have to admit, Top Gun still holds up, non? In every way it still holds up. Have seen it countless times, can recite the most famous lines, and still when Maverick and Iceman buzz the tower at the very end in a show of solidarity, I still get goosebumps every time.

Which is why, of course, people LOVE the GMD. Back then he was indeed lovable. And soooo beautiful. SO beautiful.

Funny though the new things you notice with the benefit of age and gay training. After rescuing his countrymen in the final standoff, you will recall Tom has a “moment” on the shipdeck, he grips his dogtags tightly – memories of his fallen best friend playing poignantly in his mind, that famous jaw clenches back tears… a final goodbye, before tossing them in the ocean. We watched that scene last night and you will note, from a man’s man perspective, my husband who was raised in a stinky locker room, who prefers lying around in his own filth to metrosexuals and manicures, my husband who worships Tom Cruise, who refuses to believe the truth, who can’t handle the truth, my husband took one look at Tom Cruise’s dandy little arm throwing those dogtags and said simply:

Yup. He’s gay. Throws like a girl.

I’m telling you – order that sh-t up and watch it back. Vintage Gay Midget Dwarf…you will love, love, love.

Thursday – am online all day, blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,

PS. Warning: Double shameless self promotion today. Apologies in advance…

Don’t Forget About Me!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Brad and Angelina conquer Cannes. A Mighty Heart earns critical acclaim. The Oceans boys do not disappoint on 13. Mr and Mrs Pitt make out in the backseat of a car, world goes bananas, haters hate, Brangelunatics lose their sh-t…but the point is, everybody is talking. And no one is talking about Jen. Full Story

We Love Her

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Don’t we love her? Julianne Moore? The underrated, underappreciated Julianne Moore? I tell you – I still think she was ripped off for Far From Heaven. And as that hot piece of gay ass Nelson Branco once told me – if you switch the roles, if you switched Charlize in Monster with Julianne in Heaven, Julianne could 100% have pulled off the Monster, but Charlize could never, ever, ever have pulled off the housewife. Full Story