The New Ethan Hawke

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2007 00:00:00 November 14, 2007 00:00:00

Oh tortured artist. Oh poet. Oh suffering soul. Oh dirty cheater! Words to describe Ethan Hawke a few years ago and now following in those illustrious unfaithful footsteps – Ryan Phillippe. Ryan of course is now officially divorced from Reese Witherspoon who like a proper lady is only now flaunting her relationship with Jakey G because she’s formally a single a woman – the papers went through just a few weeks ago. Full Story

Turn up the Hetero

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2007 06:47:28 November 14, 2007 06:47:28

Check out Natalie Portman Sunday night leaving the Mr Magorium afterparty – boyfriend Nathan Bogle was there as well but they left separately so as not to get photographed together. Nathan, as you can see, seems to have turned up the Hetero and isn’t pinging my gaydar like before. Many of you are convinced however that he’s a total ‘Mo. Full Story

Matt Damon: The Sexiest Man Alive 2008

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2007 06:32:11 November 14, 2007 06:32:11

Three weeks ago I called it and it’s about time. Matt Damon can now stand up to his friends George Clooney and Brad Pitt and tell them he’s finally a member of the club. Only they have TWO. Which what they’ll lord over his head for the next few years until he gets his second. Snort. Full Story

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Virgin Unite’s Midnight Magic in Toronto last night kicked off with a $1 million cheque donation to be spent on HIV testing kits in Africa where one out of every 4 living with HIV/AIDS have no idea they’re infected. New testing kits can deliver results immediately and, most importantly, can bring the service directly into the community, instead of having community members seek out service outside their own environment. Like Outreach.

An inspiring start to a drama-filled evening. Thoughts on the Magic Freak and Dita to come. But no one tops Elvis Costello. I did lose my sh*t however after running into Doug Gilmour at the bar. Only a Leaf fan would understand.

Tuesday – en route back to Vancouver, am blogging on the fly.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Julia Roberts does not use Mute Stones (  Neither does Sharon Stone)

He’s The Kind of Guy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2007 00:00:00 November 13, 2007 00:00:00

Who is hired specifically to get under the skin of other players. He is a goon. He is a prick. He has been called out for making racist comments about African Americans/Canadians and French Canadians. And now, he is without a doubt the worst piece of sh*t motherf*cker to ever put on a hockey uniform and call his sad self an athlete. Full Story

The Model Stereotype

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2007 00:00:00 November 13, 2007 00:00:00

Britney a mentor on mothering? Seriously, Heidi Klum needs better role models. Heidi was on Ellen today promoting the new season of Project Runway and dishing on babies and diapers. Said she chatted with Chicken Fried Stupid at her Halloween bash and learned from her how to properly use diapers. Apparently Heidi had no idea that the sticky tape on the side is used to fasten the folds to the middle flap. Full Story

Alanis After Ryan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2007 00:00:00 November 13, 2007 00:00:00

He’s moved on to a blonde bombshell and with his golden tan and his beefy muscles, combined with her impressive assets – perhaps the most pulchritudinous young showbiz couple – they are much more appealing to most Hollywood watching sensibilities. Because let’s face it, as adorable as Alanis and Ryan were for a while, only because the pairing really was such an oddity, we all knew it would end the way it did. Full Story

Maggie Misses

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2007 00:00:00 November 13, 2007 00:00:00

LOVE her. Love Maggie G. Eclectic and quirky and not generic. Never generic, never stupid, always interesting. But last night at the opening of the Chopard flagship in NYC, Maggie missed by a mile. Something about the way the dress fits… it’s messy. And Maggie, even when she’s weird, is always polished. Full Story

On Dita Von Teese

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2007 00:00:00 November 13, 2007 00:00:00

But first – Richard Branson, in person… kind of a fox! And a little anecdote about Chad Kroeger of Nickelback at the very, very end. Dita is tiny but not tiny, does that make sense? She’s very short, maybe 5 ft 2 and slender but not emaciated and when she gets naked her legs are surprisingly cut – great muscle definition, no little twigs supporting a pair of huge knockers and in spite of that corset 16 inch waist thing, she’s actually very well proportioned. Full Story

On Criss Angel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2007 00:00:00 November 13, 2007 00:00:00

  After standing out in the rain for too many hours, about a dozen of Criss Angel’s fans rushed the building last night right after the media briefing at Virgin Unite’s Midnight Magic. Some lady was screaming that she needed to be healed. Being a group of cynical bitches, we were more amused that he had so few fans willing to bring the crazy. Full Story

Monday, November 12, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Not even a beautiful marathon bride and the impossibly adorable Little Sci could save Lions for Lambs at the box office this weekend. Because the MiniVan Majority couldn’t bring itself to support an anti-war message. As such, the GMD’s new movie performed miserably– at home and overseas – earning less than $7 million, though many were quick to point out that even that was more than Reese and Jakey’s Rendition last month.

But while Team Cruise warned early on, even before the Lambs release, that his intent with the new studio was never box office domination, Tom’s hardcore pimp of the film clearly belied the objective: he thought he could own it. And he failed. Even worse…he now has to answer to Xenu who is still expecting his 30%.

Brad, Angelina, Harry, Kate’s multiple lovers, multiple FNL quiveration, and a riddle!

It’s Monday – am blogging all day, check back often!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Am in Toronto for Virgin Unite’s Midnight Magic, raising funds to “purchase medicines, mosquito netting, and produce preventative information materials to be delivered through Virgin’s Heaven’s Angels project to remote rural areas of Sub-Saharan Africa.” Elvis Costello is performing, Dita von Teese is apparently debuting her new routine, and that magic freak dude who dated Cameron Diaz and claims to have not slept with Britney Spears will hopefully be levitating. Here he is at an event last week obviously NOT blessed with the Good Pants Gift.