Only Cate Can Do This – Part 2

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 19, 2006 12:00:00 December 19, 2006 12:00:00

A silver HIGH WAISTED pantsuit. I mean seriously, look at that high waist - on anyone else… atrocity. On Cate Blanchett… perfection. Sigh. And forgive me for this but let me just go back on boobs for a second. See what I mean? This suit + little boobs = Lovely This suit + bigger boobs = Low Classy Therefore, in my humble opinion, being someone who always wants what she doesn’t have… Little Boobs > Bigger Boobs. Full Story

Julianne Forever

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 19, 2006 12:00:00 December 19, 2006 12:00:00

Julianne Moore was on The View the other day. Jeans tucked into high boots, a purple sweater, fresh blow out, fresh skin – she looked frickin’ gorgeous, way better than she did last night. Not that she looks bad or anything - not possible when it comes to Julianne - but still… the hair was kinda wonky and for some reason, she decided to dress for 55. Full Story

The Daily Quiveration: Clive Owen

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 19, 2006 12:00:00 December 19, 2006 12:00:00

Once upon a time, he was on the Freebie Five. I think at one point he climbed as high as #3, then it got too crowded, he receded from the spotlight, and with no new photos to sustain the lust, Clive’s peculiarly sexy brand of Ugly Hot couldn’t stay fresh on my fickle fantasy consciousness. But here he is last night at the premiere of Children of Men co-starring Julianne Moore looking as he always does: charmingly out of place, confident, maybe even a little bored, like he’d rather rock your headboard and dirty talk til morning instead of standing around having people take his picture. Full Story

Monday, December 18, 2006
Dear Gossips, Hope you caught Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live. I’m not one to gush over Pipsqueak but the boy was MORE than impressive. If you missed it, thank Goddess for YouTube. Monday – live blogging, check back often for new posts. Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. Jennifer Aniston is not enjoying battery operated pleasure - or if she is, I don’t know about it...though in light of what happened last week, I’m thinking she probably needs some, don’t you think?

On MK"s new look

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2006 12:00:00 December 18, 2006 12:00:00

I have a thing for the Olsens. No matter how out there, no matter how weird, no matter how puckered and pouty, I love what they wear. It also helps to know they"re billionaires so even though they look like they"re destitute, you know their particular brand of destitute is probably as deluxe as it gets. Full Story

Why Martha is better than Oprah

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2006 12:00:00 December 18, 2006 12:00:00

She took on Borat like a champ on Jay Leno last month, now it’s on to Howard Stern. I have to tell you – I love Martha unclenched. So Martha went on Howard’s radio show last Thursday and since it’s Howard, he asked about sex and prison and of course, lesbians. Martha was typically nonplussed, answering each question with a cheeky response of her own. Full Story

Keira Knightley: with and without

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2006 12:00:00 December 18, 2006 12:00:00

Like Cameron Diaz, Keira Knightley is a different person when she smiles. Unlike Victoria Beckham, it ain’t a good thing. With Cam, it’s because of the wide Joker mouth – adds a weird caricature-ishness to her features, frightening small children in the process. For Keira it’s the teeth. Flying razors grown haphazardly in all directions, made even more alarming by the protrusion of her wickedly square and decidedly prominent jaw. Full Story

Cam: D!ck in the Box makes her happy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2006 12:00:00 December 18, 2006 12:00:00

She said recently that sex is what chills her out, that sex is primarily if not the only reason why that fugly scowl has been replaced of late (along with some box office glutton) in favour of a kick ass wardrobe and a pleasant smile, apparently the positive effects of Pipsqueak’s D!ck in the Box? Really??? Really??? He might be funny on tv but still…I still can’t believe he’d be hotness in my bedroom, especially since his balls clearly haven’t dropped. Full Story

Josh on Katie after 18 months

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2006 12:00:00 December 18, 2006 12:00:00

Is it weird that Brad Pitt and Katie Holmes share a birthday? He’s 43, she’s 28 today, both with a new babies to go along with her new lives but in Katie’s case, only after having purged everything about her old one: her religion, her entire identity, and quite possibly all of her friends…including Joshua Jackson. Full Story

Hilary Duff: Canadian flirtation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2006 12:00:00 December 18, 2006 12:00:00

Thank Goddess. Canadian gossip that doesn’t involve Ryan Phillippe or cheating or homewrecking skanks at Yaletown Cactus Club. By the way – quick update: one of those skanks is rumoured to be negotiating a deal in the $50K range with a tabloid to sell her story. Classy, non? Anyway, about Hilary - she’s in Vancouver to visit Haylie, they spent Saturday up at Whistler, and my sources tell me exclusively that Haylie tried to offer her sister a bit of a diversion from her break up with Joel Maddon. Full Story

The Daily Quiveration: Oceans 13

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2006 12:00:00 December 18, 2006 12:00:00

A new still from the upcoming Oceans 13 – thanks Chris! Movie comes out summer 2007, apparently much better than the 2nd which was widely panned even by the cast, though I have to ask – was it really that bad? I didn’t think it was all that bad. But I digress. The point is, everyone is happy with the 3rd. Full Story