Faux Audrey Hepburn & the Gay Midget Dwarf

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

It’s a terrible thing…watching a man pass his prime but hang on for dear life. I’ll concede – one upon a time, Tom Cruise was a goodlooking man. Back when celluloid could make up 5 inches, back when a fighter plane could somehow mask the homo, and the ubiquitous jaw clench could pass for great acting - back in the day, the GMD was undeniably attractive. Full Story

Conquered by the Vampire

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

Hated at the beginning. When they first hooked up, Jennifer and Marc, as his festering rot somehow claimed her booty, like many of you there were sad, sick days. But somehow, some way, sounds cheese but now I believe. I believe that he adores her, I believe that she adores that he adores her, and believing makes occasions like these easier to swallow. Full Story

Beautiful Drew Five Times Live

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

Her 5th time hosting SNL did not disappoint – a resurgence in the show of late, non? And she looked amazing. Slim but still curvy, glowing, great skin, a better smile, not afraid to skewer anyone…including 12 year old Dakota Fanning, quite obvious now that the awkward-no-one-can-stand-her phase is in full swing. Full Story

Good News for Naomi?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

Usually loathe to jump into any pregnancy speculation at the drop of a hat but this one smells right. And it smells good. Naomi at an event on Friday wearing a very loose fitting dress and poppin’ up an impressive abundance of cleavage – from a girl who is normally modestly endowed and really doesn’t do the fake push-up and spill-over trick frequently used by her b-cup peers. Full Story

Friday, February 2, 2007 Dear Gossips, Late start today, sorry. Standing on top of that glacier on Tuesday has brought on a killer cold. And I’m trying to keep up with all The Departed entries – the most popular giveaway so far and there are still 3 days to go. In case you missed it, scroll down for details. Friday – real time blogging, check back often for new posts, and have a great weekend! Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. The Bears. Go Bears.

Ryan & Alanis: NOW it’s over

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2007 12:00:00 February 2, 2007 12:00:00

They were cute and cuddly at Cupcakes in Vancouver on Christmas Eve but Ryan and Alanis announced today that they are through. An official statement confirming they’ve ended their engagement – over 6 months after they were rumoured to have done but not really because – as I first broke the news last summer – they were frolicking with their dogs at English Bay shortly thereafter. Full Story

Katie Holmes: calling creativity

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2007 12:00:00 February 2, 2007 12:00:00

Girl needs a new speechwriter. I mean, I understand the need to grease the MiniVan Majority, to craft a perfect perfect illusion and a picture perfect existence, but creativity still counts for something and in the creativity department, the Cruise strategy is for sh-t. I mean if she’s going to say the same thing over and over again, at least make it fresh…you know what I mean? Harper’s Bazaar interview, canned answers below and my suggested changes: On Loving Tom: I have a husband and children that I adore. Full Story

Tori Spelling: what’s worse than Pity?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2007 12:00:00 February 2, 2007 12:00:00

Ask Jennifer Aniston. Because there is NOTHING worse than being pitied. To have people feel sorry for you, to have people look upon you as charity, to be stripped of dignity – nothing makes you feel smaller…and oh clever Karma, this is what has happened to Tori Spelling! Hee! Desperate to sell off every aspect of their lives, desperate to pimp out every piece of their privacy, Tori and KFed Jr reportedly accepted Tupperware’s offer to host the baby shower. Full Story

Sienna: Working for Weinstein taking its toll?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2007 12:00:00 February 2, 2007 12:00:00

Look cute, love the booties, but rather tired non? And she lost her cool with a pappy the other, after almost a week of her best behaviour, determined to turn around the flood of negative publicity surrounding her and her movie. In fact, I hear that Sienna wants to be a new Sienna. Kinder, gentler, more considerate…note the active verb here is “Want”. Full Story

The Daily Shameful Quiveration: Bruce Willis

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2007 12:00:00 February 2, 2007 12:00:00

Is it wrong of me? Maybe it’s the cold. But he looks kinda sexy if you ask me. Waaaaaaaaay sexier than the GMD. And making it out with Drew Barrymore – hot, non? No? Here’s Bruce leaving Koi, currently shooting Live Free or Die Hard and let’s hope it’s the last. One and two were fantastic. Three licked balls. Full Story