Dina Lohan Pimps Rehab

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 1, 2007 12:00:00 February 1, 2007 12:00:00

I’m not kidding you. Dina Lohan has invited Entertainment Tonight with her on her trip from NYC to LA “to reunite with Lindsay in rehab.” Call me Cruise but even I didn’t think that bitch was this greedy. Her “reasoning”: Dina wants to stop the “madness and the lies”, to set the record straight about her daughter and put an end to paparazzi intrusion. Full Story

July 21, 2007

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 1, 2007 12:00:00 February 1, 2007 12:00:00

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Brilliant. The seventh book, the seventh month, the seventh year, 3 X 7 = 21. Can"t. F&cking. Wait.  Full Story

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 Dear Gossips, The Paris Exposed videos, a degenerate captured on film, in all her degenerate glory – and a racist too! – but you bet your boob job, when all this is said and done, some idiot will still pay her a million dollars to fly to Budapest (insert international destination of choice here) to pimp his beer. Unless this is the scandal that finally eradicates Hollywood Ebola? Doubtful. Bitch will never have to answer for herself, which is why it’s practically become a civic duty, a social responsibility if you will, to trash her as hard and as often as possible. Wednesday – back to live blogging schedule though I can scarcely feel my fingers after being stuck up on that mountain for 6 hours yesterday, though I have to tell you…the Canadian Snowboard Team? Quiveration Nation. Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. The Canadian Idol audition tour hits Vancouver this weekend, hand in hand with the Canadian Media Idol auditions taking place Thursday at 4:30pm at Metrotown. I will be there, I will be hosting, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to contain my bitch. See you there!

The Daily Quiveration: Tom Brady

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

Leaving Gisele’s apartment. Sigh. Life really, really, really isn’t fair. But remember my Celebrity Baby Theory, the Goddess’s way of balancing things out: Hot + hot = Ugly Hot + average = Fairly attractive Average + Average = Hot Horse face stars + gay husbands = Cute Hot + Ugly = Ugly Average + Ugly = Uglier Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace Hang on to that. Full Story

Lilo: Horny & Hungry?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 00:00:00 January 31, 2007 00:00:00

Us Weekly is reporting that Lindsay has found herself a new fixation: McDonalds for her stomach, Brody Jenner for her privates.   And rather than pursuing her needs the old fashioned way, she has taken to texting him her request, writing in what was likely broken English that all she wants is “McDonalds and sex”. Full Story

Desperately Saving Factory Girl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

A movie with huge expectations, beset by production delays and drama on the set, release date pushed back into obscurity, despite heavy campaigning by its producer, and now blasted by critics – no wonder Harvey Weinstein had to do SOMETHING. The problem is, allegedly leaking this kind of story via the NY Daily News is pathetic at best…and even an amateur gossip can see through that bullsh*t. Full Story

Girlcrushing on Natalie Portman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

I can’t say enough about Natalie Portman. At the premiere of Goya’s Ghosts. Simply put, she is perfection. Gorgessity. Every superlative applicable is applicable. And did you know that Natalie sits on the Harvard Committee for the Hasty Pudding Awards? Female recipient this year is none other than Scarlett Johansson with whom Natalie co-stars in The Other Boleyn Girl…so much for those reports that they don’t get along. Full Story

The Pip Type

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

New cover of Us Weekly – How Jessica Biel Stole Justin. Sigh. I have several issues. First…with all due respect as she seems like a relatively nice non-drug-using, non-badly behaved girl, who the hell is Jessica Biel???? Rhetorical question. But still. She was in some Brady Bunch tv show. Full Story

Beyonce: cheap ass bitter bitch?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

Hmmm…hardly surprising. Poor thing probably still has plug up her ass about Jennifer Hudson stealing her thunder…and now she appears to be taking it out on the working class. TMZ is reporting that B is getting ready for a new video, working on choreography, hiring dancers. However, her record label is apparently not fronting the bill, leaving B to pay for expenses herself. Full Story

Pity the Nose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

She has called People Magazine a tabloid before, she has said repeatedly she doesn’t care for the trash perpetuated in gossip rags. And yet…when Jennifer Aniston wants to fellate the MiniVan Majority, when she wants to make sure her status as America’s Sweetheart remains unblemished, she goes running back to People for an “exclusive” interview for no other reason than to talk about appearing in her best friend’s new tv show Dirt, Courteney Cox’s collaborative effort with husband David Arquette. Full Story

Happy Birthday Pipsqueak!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00

Justin Timberlake turned 26 today. Maybe his balls have finally dropped?  Full Story