LastWord

Happy 18th birthday to Haley from mom Kim… mothers and daughters sharing smut - LOVE IT! Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony do not have matching cheekbones. Wrong on many counts including skin tone much closer to the coke. Also not Britney and Kevin. Britney hasn"t worked in 2 years and the blow babe has actually been rather busy. Finally…Jessica Alba and Cash Warren - right now, her monster bitch is the only toxin coursing through her body. Besides, she only wishes she"d be considered for the same opportunities. Fresh column soon, til then, I am yours in gossip, Lainey

The Daily Mimi Cheese: Mimi in Oakland

October 4, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 4, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I can’t get enough of this sh*t. I mean look at her. LOOK. AT. HER!!! Don’t tell me this doesn"t bring a smile to your face. Don’t tell me it"s not your happy place - such shameless, unadulterated, original Cheese. Mimi Cheese. Thank Goddess for every inch of Mimi Cheese. And quit callin" her fat. Full Story

The Daily Disbelief: Ashlee Simpson

October 4, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 4, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It"s her birthday, or was her birthday, these are from a couple of days ago as she was leaving the theatre in London. And it STILL trips me out that this is Ashlee Simpson.  Full Story

Jennifer & Marc: a lesson in emoting

October 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 2, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Her singing might be suspect but you can"t take anything away from the performance, displayed quite beautifully here on stage with her husband - yet another example of JLo"s true star quality. New rumours have just surfaced that she"s been visiting a fertility clinic, eager to seal the deal on their surprisingly solid marriage with a little Vampire of their own. Full Story

LastWord

Tomorrow on eTalk - exclusive pics and ooey gooey insider scoop on the Pitts in India. If you miss it or if you don"t live in Canada, will post it in next column. Til then, I am yours in gossip, Lainey

Paris: the Munich reception, the Vegas panties

October 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 2, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thanks to Julia in Germany - it"s nice to get an alternate perspective, especially since Paris keeps bragging that she gets to charge up to a million dollars per appearance in Europe and Asia, leaving the rest of us to wonder - who the f&ck would pay that kind of money to see Hollywood Ebola? Well, the Austrian marketing arm behind a brand of prosecco (sparkling wine in a CAN!!!) paid for Paris to promote the product last week during Oktoberfest - that much we know. Full Story

Matching cheekbones, matching blow

October 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 2, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It"s their love connection - why does it always come back to drugs? She much more famous than he, yet equal in consumption, they"re now taking their partying public, not afraid to lock themselves into a stall and shovel away, only to reemerge moments later rednosed and raring to go. The problem now is that he"s being accused of being a bad influence when it"s more like the other way around: she needs it, he needs her, he went along for the ride, and now he needs it even more. Full Story

Sienna shops

October 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 2, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Those extensions are still a budget mess but those boots are fantastic, fantastic overall in fact, and much much better than that prom dress she chose for the Opera last week . But even if the hair is still Simpson, it seems as though Sienna"s Sampson curse is on the reverse, now that the short locks have been camouflaged by some length, restoring a certain feng shui balance to her life. Full Story

Pro-love for Sharon Stone

October 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 2, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Much has been made of Sharon"s cheeky outfit the other day at a Macy"s event - not exactly the classiest ensemble ever modelled, but you know what? The broad might be loopy and she might be pushing 50 but for a 50 pushing ass, that"s pretty damn tight. And if my ass is this tight pushing 50, I"d probably wear the same thing. Full Story

Cameron Diaz: long legs at the beach

October 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 2, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful legs. Here"s Cam in Mexico for a photo shoot, publication not confirmed, likely on stands in time for the December release of Holiday co-starring Kate Winslet and Jude Law. Her wardrobe for the movie is apparently frickin" KILLER. Anyway, as we"ve seen over the last couple of months, Cam has slimmed down and toned up and she"s showing off more than just limbs in several of these shots. Full Story

The Trannification of Scary Spice

October 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 2, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She was never dainty but seriously…when did this happen??? And - gulp - is that tie dye??? Now I"ve seen some maybe hermies in my lifetime but this one is quite possibly the most jarring, most disturbing, considering she used to be a Spice, one fifth of the most sought after, girl power, pop sensation in recent memory, and undoubtedly a wealthy, wealthy woman which makes the low classy extensions and the Walmart footwear an unforgivable disgrace…SWEET GODDESS! Oh…and by the way … you know Eddie Murphy is hittin" this, right? Full Story