Magic Mike XXL is coming. And that’s actually how they want you to refer to it. Come again. Well I almost came from reading Channing Tatum’s AMA on Reddit last night. Not because he made me horny but because he just made me like him so much, he always makes me like him so much. And this is exceptional because celebrities are just so goddamn unlikeable so often. Full Story
Savannah! It’s too bad about the weekend but Lynn wants you to know how much she appreciates all the planning you put into it. You will be missed! But everyone just wants you to feel better. Take care of yourself. To Danielle and Julie – Katey can’t wait for Miami and the Fontainebleau which is NOT too young for anyone, especially not you three. Full Story
Madonna’s new video, featuring Beyonce and Katy Perry and Minaj and Miley was promised to us yesterday. SHE was the one who promised it. On Instagram last week – her words, not mine. Click here to see.
Yesterday she released the poster. It felt like Taylor Swift. OK but whatever. Beyonce alone can take 25 of #SwiftSquad members, no problem. What happened? I waited. I walked all over DC, eating up data on my phone, waiting. I waited all the way from DC to New York, eating up more data on my phone. Nothing.
And what’s even more embarrassing is that this is the SECOND TIME. You remember what happened with the Ghosttown video in April? How it was supposed to drop on Meerkat and the app couldn’t handle it? So yesterday didn’t happen and now she’s saying that Bitch I’m Madonna will be available Wednesday morning. Well I’ve waited now until 9:30amET because I was hoping to open with it and still, I don’t see it.
Inefficiency has never been Madonna’s problem. Why is it so often her problem now? She makes it worse with messages like this:
Video coming soon! Just tryin to make it perfect for all of you ❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️😄❤️😓❤️😁 we are hard werking bitches! #bitchimmadonna
This is how it works for someone at the beginning of their career, non? In any business. You open a restaurant and in the early days, maybe the kitchen has timing problems, maybe the restocking schedule is still being figured out and you can’t always offer what’s on the menu. And you apologise to your customers – sorry! we’re new! we are learning, please be patient with us.
But Madonna is not/should not be amateur hour. And lately, all we’ve seen from her is amateur hour. As a fan for 3 decades now, I’m telling you, there’s no joy in this observation. And on top of all that? When the video does – finally – come out, what might save her will be the appearance and performance of OTHER artists: Beysus, Katy, Miley…
That’s not the Madonna I signed up for.
Yours in gossip,
Fred Duval/ Karwai Tang/ Kristy Sparow/ Rindoff/ Charriau/ Jason Merritt/ JB Lacroix/ Imeh Akpanudosen/ Albert L. Ortega/ Thomas Niedermueller/ Life Ball 2015/ Foc Kan/ Jeffrey Mayer/ Vincent Desailly/ Getty Images
US Weekly reports exclusively that Charlize Theron and Sean Penn have broken off their engagement. Apparently it was Charlize who shut it down last month after the two were in Cannes for Mad Max and then Vienna for the Life Ball. They looked fine in photos from that event but afterwards, some people who were there were mumbling about them fighting. Full Story
Venturelli/ Getty Images
While PEOPLE Magazine is banking on Big G on the cover to sell this week’s issue, US Weekly’s going with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner “in crisis”. Lower level tabloids have been reporting on this since April. And for the last 3 weeks, Ben and Jen have stepped out on weekends to the farmer’s market – because no paps ever hang out there – to try to send a message. Full Story
Relief—a movie trailer that doesn’t make me want to crawl under my bed and hide! After a series of trailers that I had to watch with one hand over my eyes because the events depicted are pants-sh*tting scary, the trailer for the upcoming thriller Captive is a relative walk in the park. Full Story
Emma Stone is featured in the new issue of WSJ Magazine to promote Irrational Man. It’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl…the interview. At one point she pops a sugar cube in her mouth, just because it’s a cute thing that she does. And she tells a story about how she f-cked up a beauty roundtable once by talking about decomposing bodies. Full Story
The female Channing Tatum then (Dlisted)
Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts wear shower caps and Nicole still doesn’t look like herself (Just Jared)
This Charlie Hunnam poster is the most unattractive Charlie Hunnam poster (Cele|bitchy)
Lady Gaga has a great ass (The Superficial)
OMG Cindy Crawford and her children are too much (Too Fab)
Prince Harry is marrying Cressida. Bullsh-t (OK!)
Every Kate Hudson bikini angle is perfect (Pop Sugar)
Maleficent once again (I'm Not Obsessed)
Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt, two of the biggest and most well-liked movie stars in the world right now, have been attached to a sci-fi movie called Passengers for a while. The movie is about a deep space voyage in which a passenger wakes up early and then wakes up a fellow passenger to keep him company since everyone else is in suspended animation for the voyage. Full Story