Esmeralda Amada Gosling

Duana Posted by Duana at October 10, 2014 13:13:16 October 10, 2014 13:13:16

The first notification I got of this name was a text from Lorella, which immediately followed the text in which she chastised me for not telling her about ‘Serial’. Are you addicted yet? “That’s the name from the Hunchback of Notre Dame!” Lorella cried, if you can cry via text. Full Story

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Dear Gossips,

PROGRAMMING NOTE:

At 9:20am this morning, they’re sticking a laser into my eye so that I (hopefully) won’t have to wear contact lenses and glasses anymore. Pre-op starts an hour before that. And after the procedure, I have to keep my eyes closed (sleep is strongly recommended) and/or avoid reading or watching TV and light, at least until the follow-up appointment 24 hours later.

So…

The blog won’t be happening today. There may be a chance that it won’t happen tomorrow, although many have come back quickly, in just a day, and have been able to resume their regular lives. I’m hoping I’m one of the bionic ones.

Am very sorry about the inconvenience to your gossip schedule and will try my best to voodoo and feng shui everything I can out of my cells for quick healing. I’ve been ginseng-loading on the Squawking Chicken’s soup all week.

Please note however that Sasha’s fashion posts will still be up on LifeStyle later today – check back later this morning/early afternoon.

But… if you’d like to do some gossip homework…

Here are a few suggestions:

Read the full Jennifer Lawrence profile in Vanity Fair. I’ve just finished it and… we have a LOT to talk about… after you come out the coma that was induced by the series of eyerolls you’ll experience while making your way through it. Let me give you a taste:

Though Chris Martin, at 37, is 13 years Jennifer's senior, it's not surprising that she may have fallen for him. For one thing, she loves music--she played the oboe in middle school. "I can't really remember how to play anymore," she confessed.

WHO DOESN’T LOVE MUSIC?

And if that’s the case, why isn’t Kanye West in love with Chris Martin?

Next – read Lena Dunham’s book, Not That Kind Of Girl, if you haven’t already. Because she can write. And because even if you don’t agree with her, and even if you find her exhausting, she’s talking about the sh-t we should be talking more about.

Then… read Anne Helen Petersen’s first book, Scandals Of Classic Hollywood. AHP is a gossip. She’s a real life PhD gossip and not some old crusty c-nt who free-barfs all over her blog (me, obvs). The old school gossip is just as dirty and depraved. And she breaks it all down like a business case study. Click here for more information.

If you’d rather watch and not read, I’ve attached a video below. Some of you may have already enjoyed it, and if you have, well, then you understand why I want you to enjoy it again. For those of you who haven’t, I’m putting you on edge for 45 minutes while you sit through a party for Gwyneth Paltrow. Come on. She picked up on a Mozart beat WHILE SHE WAS IN THE WOMB. Why am I justifying this for you?

Finally…if you’re like me and you temporarily can’t use your eyes, there’s a podcast that Duana breathlessly recommended to me that I’ve already become addicted to. It’s from the people who gave us This American Life. And I was supposed to start AFTER my surgery but I cheated and opened it last night instead and now I’m addicted and – yay! – there’s a new installment! Click here but BE WARNED. You will not be able to stop. This is how I imagine it was like when people gathered around the radio in the living room – before we tweeted and swiped and downloaded while watching Scandal and the hockey game at the same time. It’s addictively intimate and warmly nostalgic, like story time in elementary school. With my eyes closed, then, I’ll be picturing us listening together at our virtual gossip daycare.

Hope to be back tomorrow.

But if I’m not…

Have a great weekend! And HAPPY THANKSGIVING Canada!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Thank you so much - AGAIN - for donating to my #FearlessChallenge in support of the Canadian Cancer Society. Click here for a refresher on why my challenge was to visit a haunted house . Like I said the other day, it was an old, abandoned home over a 100 years old in the middle of nowhere-f*ck. The guy in the video with me is a spirit-chaser, one of those spirit chasers.  By the end of it, I basically begged him to let me go home. And I did get to home, safely (I think). 

But for those who are fighting cancer, they have to be fearless every day. The #FearlessChallenge is meant to honour them and to stand with them. Your donations to the #FearlessChallenge are a symbol of solidarity as they face this disease -- and beat it. Thank you for your generosity.

Click here to learn more about the #FearlessChallenge.

And click here to watch the video of me at the haunted house. I'm not embedding it on my blog. You understand.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Dear Gossips,

Thanks for helping me reach my #FearlessChallenge fundraising goal in support of the Canadian Cancer Society so quickly! My haunted house video will be posted very soon on the #FearlessChallenge page. For now, click here  Read Full Intro

Let your Lange out

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2014 20:10:21 October 8, 2014 20:10:21
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet, Kevin Winter/ Frazer Harrison/ Getty

Duana and I are working old school today at the library, sitting at a table across from each other by a window, fascinated by the regulars who hang out here. People still come to the library to use the computer – I’m a f-cking asshole for being surprised by this. The librarian overdraws her lip liner and wears her skirt barely past the ass. Full Story

View All 32 Photos

Comparing beards

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2014 19:38:19 October 8, 2014 19:38:19
Photos:
FameFlynet

Too easy. And besides, the only commentary that will matter on these photos will be Michael K’s of Dlisted.com so I’ll just give you the straight description direct from the photo agency: “John Travolta shows his dedication to his craft as he films night scenes for his new movie Life on the Line on October 7, 2014 in Vancouver, Canada. Full Story

View All 25 Photos

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2014 18:57:05 October 8, 2014 18:57:05

Shia LaBeouf is hardcore, Part 6987 (Dlisted

Kristen Stewart rescues a dog (Just Jared

Maybe there are 5 too many grommets and studs on Hilary Duff’s jacket? (The Superficial

Katy Cambridge is staying with her parents (Cele|bitchy

Ariana Grande sort of kind of has a different hair style! OK, not really, sorry (Hollywood Tuna)

Idris Elba is shirtless, rolling back and forth on a bar (Pop Sugar)  

Hello Vodka hates Tila Tequila (Too Fab)  

Taylor Swift’s outtakes (Hollywood PQ

I like the one of all the bridesmaids maybe giving head (Romance Beat

I wish we could all be there when someone tries to explain Tinder and Grindr to the Queen (Celeb Dirty Laundry
 

Taylor Swift changes the conversation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2014 17:12:18 October 8, 2014 17:12:18
Photos:
WENN

When we talk about the fame game and the celebrity ecosystem, and who sells best and who understands the play, it’s often a long-term case study. Think of how the Jolie made her moves – it didn’t happen in a year, but it was a well-executed multiple-down strategy, sometimes advancing only one or two yards, sometimes it was 15 yard major gain, followed by a modest 4 yard run. Full Story

View All 18 Photos

Scarjo the scheming social-climber

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2014 16:04:11 October 8, 2014 16:04:11
Photos:
WENN

This is what Seth Rogen tweeted a couple of weeks ago: I wonder which of today's popular film actors will be on procedural cop dramas in 20 years? You can interpret it a dozen different ways. But you don’t have to be of a certain age to try out television anymore. Full Story

Keira: red, pleats, pockets, and maths

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2014 15:13:22 October 8, 2014 15:13:22
Photos:
WENN

The BFI London Film Festival is underway and one of England’s proudest achievements this year is The Imitation Game, starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Keira Knightley. The press conference and photo call happened today. Keira’s dress… F-ck. It’s ALWAYS Keira’s dress, isn’t it? Valentino, red, pleats, pockets, perfect. Full Story

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The DUFF

Duana Posted by Duana at October 8, 2014 14:40:14 October 8, 2014 14:40:14

Mae Whitman stars in The Duff, an upcoming movie for which you need to know two pertinent pieces of information:  first, it’s based on a book written by an author, Kody Keplinger, who was 17 at the time of publication; second, and the one you’ll hear most about, is that “Duff” stands for “Designated Ugly Fat Friend”. Full Story