The Star of Cannes

May 18, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 18, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It hurt to write that. Excruciating pain. But during a week of sin and sex, when things get going at 2am, who else could be Queen but Pamela Anderson.

She was flown out for a day to promote her sh-t ass movie Blonde and Blonder and also to promote the new Cannes Nikki Beach (a club). We were there for an hour or so last night – it was decadent Euro cheese at its finest: men with chains and tight shirts, women dancing on tables, bad house beats thump thump thumping, every accent imaginable…and some woman singing along to the music, random words from other well known songs ripped off to match whatever melody just happened to be playing and then screeching – NIKKI BEACH! – every 5 seconds. Seriously, I couldn’t get enough…it was Celine Dion to me, you know? So tacky but so addictive?

Anyway, after that we headed to the Playboy party. Younger crowd, still Euro, where Jude Law was lounging for a bit. And this is what kills me about famous people…or more specifically people who will do anything for famous people…

Have you ever heard a dude called Rick Yoon? Chances are you haven’t. And that’s my point. Rick Yune is an actor, once dated Lisa Ling. Rick Yoon is NOT a movie star. But Rick Yune was escorted and protected from pappies with the kind of fanfare you’d reserve for at least a C List celebrity… I mean COME ON.

So if Rick Yune is treated as such, can you imagine the frenzy around Pam?

But first… before Pam came Kid. As in Kid Rock. With his new generic looking femmebot of a model girlfriend. He’s actually shorter than I expected – aren’t they all? So he’s there for an hour or so, gets a reasonable amount of attention, and then Pam arrives. And she’s like huddling in close to her protector – some greasy looking dude, I have no idea who he was. A huge horde of pappies converges on her, the club crowd starts to tail the scrum, flashes are popping everywhere, Dylan and I and our group are off to the side by the bar completely amazed by the reception.

Having worked several events with her before in North America, we were like – really? All that for Pam? WTF?

So she heads to her VIP section, we go back to drinking, and then literally, like five minutes later …another rumble: Kid is leaving. Kid couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Pam. Or vice versa…which ironically is a far cry from last year. Because you’ll recall they got married in the South of France on some boat only to split disastrously 4 months later.

As for how she looked…surprisingly not as bunk as I’ve seen her before. Actually well rested. And tiny of course. And the skinniest legs ever. But you know what? Between her and Jessica Simpson – I’m not lying to you – after seeing Jessica Simpson at the Costume Institute Gala? Between Jess at the Gala and Pam last night? A one night comparison?

Pam all the way.

Now how’s that for an insult?

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