Parent Pimps Articles

Celebrity parents who pimp out their children for fame.

Oscar Entitlement: Miley Cyrus

March 8, 2010 10:27:19 Posted at March 8, 2010 10:27:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s the lack of humility that we’ve addressed so many times before. And on grand occasions like this it’s even more pronounced. They’ve raised her with such an alarming sense of entitlement. And of course, in this town, that sense of entitlement is oftentimes unearned. In front of a room full of people she should be aspiring to BE, she’s already fronting like she IS. Full Story

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Tom Cruise Junior at the Oscars

February 24, 2010 09:59:56 Posted at February 24, 2010 09:59:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Taylor Lautner will present at the Oscars. He’ll pose on the carpet with the side lean, he’ll enunciate every syllable, he’ll bring his earnestness to the Kodak, follow every play in the Impress the MiniVan Guidebook... and he won’t have much of a normal teenage life. Where are his teenage friends? His teenage friends are werewolves. Full Story

Is she still a minor?

February 18, 2010 10:31:04 Posted at February 18, 2010 10:31:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ali Lohan is 16 years old. Believe it. She was in London the other night with her older sister Lindsay and was photographed out on the town looking like this. THIS. 16 is still underage right? So, like, she should be supervised by an adult? And Lindsay Lohan, in and out of rehab, cranked out of her f-cking mind, this is considered proper adult supervision? What the f-ck is Dina Lohan doing? Look at her. Full Story

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Teen Tom Cruise

February 4, 2010 06:36:16 Posted at February 4, 2010 06:36:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Taylor Lautner turns 18 next week. Last night he was sitting courtside at the Lakers game. Seems like a normal famous teen Wednesday night activity, right? Sure, totally normal. Except he was with adults. Surrounded by adults. A 17 year old who never seems to have any friends his own age. Aside from being photographed on dates with Taylor Swift, how often does he roll with a younger crowd? Where are his friends? Note to Lautner Management: must audition friends. Full Story

Best Grammy quiver

February 1, 2010 09:28:00 Posted at February 1, 2010 09:28:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thank you for your emails in support of my quiveration for Eminem validating me against Duana’s disgust. He was HOT last night. And even Michelle admitted his face didn’t look so f-cked up. Check the way he’s wearing his pants. Please. With Drake and Wayne, Em delivered. Em was sharp, Em was tight, Em was SEX, and Drake is the pride of the 416. Full Story

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New year, new crack love

January 19, 2010 12:15:17 Posted at January 19, 2010 12:15:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Or she’s trying to make Samantha Ronson jealous. Paps caught Lindsay Lohan out last night with a new beau. His name is Aurelien Wiik. He’s a French actor. To me he’s an Adam Brody clone. French Adam Brody and Lilo were kissing. At a private party inside some store. Naturally, her mother was with her. Full Story

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Cyrus Gangsta Crunk

January 14, 2010 11:48:39 Posted at January 14, 2010 11:48:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not depressed enough this week? How about watching a video of 10 year old Noie or Noah whatever Cyrus, JailBait v 2.0, miming Ke$ha’sTik Tok ... and somehow this found its way onto YouTube. Don’t bother asking what the f-ck her folks are up to. It’s not as offensive, I guess, as the time she worked a pole, or dressed like a working girl for Halloween, and I’m sure she’s not the only 10 year old to lipsynch to pop music. Full Story

Drama always wins

January 11, 2010 07:48:18 Posted at January 11, 2010 07:48:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lindsay Lohan. She can’t follow up a win with a win. And you’d think that, especially with so few wins in her life these days, she’d at least want to savour a rare one. Oh no. This is the Lilo. And the drama always overrides everything. Friday afternoon, the trailer for her trip to India was released. Full Story

She’s totally not having sex

January 8, 2010 08:01:15 Posted at January 8, 2010 08:01:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What? Disney JailBait? Of course not. She’s totally still a virgin. A virgin who travels on her own to spend time with her boyfriend in Australia. A virgin who has travelled back with him to LA. A virgin who was rolling around on the beach with him the other day, kissing, but definitely no more than that. Full Story

Lohan Mayhem 2010

January 5, 2010 09:22:17 Posted at January 5, 2010 09:22:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lindsay Lohan promised on her Twitter at New Year’s that 2010 would be all about the Lohan Mayhem. In a “positive” way. Please. Is that possible? Lilo is currently with Ali in St Barts. The mother is nowhere to be found. They’ve been walking around in their bikinis, attending high roller parties, frying their orange skin. Full Story

Madge & Lourdes face Third Lip

December 16, 2009 06:51:09 Posted at December 16, 2009 06:51:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In fairness to Madonna, she’s got a decade on Nicole Kidman. Still…the sight of these two on the same carpet last night at the New York premiere of Nine must have been a plastic surgeon’s erection. What? But Granny Kidman doesn’t f-ck around with her face. That’s what she tells magazines. Full Story

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