Parent Pimps Articles

Celebrity parents who pimp out their children for fame.

All the Chicken Fried BooBoos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:19:55 September 1, 2009 07:19:55

Gathered in one place. Poolside. Miami. Yesterday. Britney with her sons, sister, and niece at their luxe hotel, enjoying some downtime between shows. It’s easy to forget both girls are still so young. Britney is still only 27. And Jamie Lynn just turned 18 in April. Babies! So many babies! Jamie Lynn was not accompanied by her baby daddy Casey and Britney’s agent boyfriend Jason Trawick has not been seen with her in a few weeks, prompting speculation that it’s already over. Full Story

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JailBait the player

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 26, 2009 09:58:36 August 26, 2009 09:58:36

Miley Cyrus and those lips were supposedly spotted with her co-star Liam Hemsworth at the airport last week. According to People.com they were kissing and dancing and nauseating everyone around them. JailBait however, via her Twitter Full Story

Drama 24/7

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 24, 2009 18:54:04 August 24, 2009 18:54:04

It’s like energy. You give it off. You invite. Drama. Lindsay Lohan craves drama. She cannot live without drama. So drama will always find her. So her house was broken into again. Second time in 4 months. Her first phone call? Daddy. You know the father with whom she’s so close? The same one. Full Story

Porny the judge

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 08:09:38 August 17, 2009 08:09:38

Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Full Story

JailBait, short shorts, a soul patch, and a pole

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 06:18:00 August 10, 2009 06:18:00

It’s Miley Cyrus and her mashed up mouth at the Teen Choice Awards last night, all of 16, looking more like 30, and standing next to Fergie, really, it’s like they’re almost the same age. A compliment for Ferg, a shame for JailBait’s parents. And then she got on the pole. At the Teen Choice Awards, Jailbait wrapped it around a pole. Full Story

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Children and poles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 6, 2009 11:42:05 August 6, 2009 11:42:05

That is a pole, isn’t it? And those are children, aren’t they? And the children are being OFFICIALLY photographed, right? With the permission of their parents, non? Just wanted to make sure. Teen Choice Awards are coming up this weekend. Naturally that means children like Noah Cyrus, sister of JailBait Miley Cyrus, are hitting up gifting suites and pre-parties with some other Disney commodities before the main event. Full Story

Another child to pimp

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 3, 2009 13:09:00 August 3, 2009 13:09:00

Ever heard of DJ AC? Ugh. The A is for Ali. As in 40 year old Ali Lohan. The C is for Cody, her younger brother, who is now her DJ partner. They’re to “perform” on the 1s and 2s on August 15th at MegaJam in Long Island. Or something. Dina Lohan is so proud. It’s the reason she had so many kids. Full Story

School is not for artists…or child stars

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 29, 2009 08:03:25 July 29, 2009 08:03:25

Taylor Momsen celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday by performing with her band Pretty Reckless in New York. As you can see, she looks 16 the way Miley Cyrus does. And the way Ali Lohan does. In other words, 35 and plucked. Awesome. Taylor is also celebrating her Teen Vogue cover and an interview that serves to convince us of her maturity and artistry. Full Story

JailBait Batgirl?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 29, 2009 07:05:57 July 29, 2009 07:05:57

As Gary Oldman revealed at Comic-Con, the brilliant Christopher Nolan will direct a third Batman with Christian Bale as the Dark Knight, and rumour has it JailBait Miley Cyrus wants to be Batgirl so badly she dressed in character for an impromptu audition, not unlike that crazy bitch Sean Young back in the day with Catwoman, and supposedly “stunned Warner executives” when she started hopping around the room adlibbing self written dialogue… …the f-ck? Most people think it’s a bullsh-t story. Full Story

SATC 2 – Exclusive

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2009 10:26:02 July 24, 2009 10:26:02

Stop reading here if you can’t handle the spoilers. Sex & the City the second movie – a few exclusive plot details. You ready? Ugh. My sources tell me that JailBait Miley Cyrus, as of this week, is confirmed to be on set for one day. Not known yet exactly what she’s playing but f-ck, it’ll make her head bigger and mashed mouth even more annoying. Full Story