Parent Pimps Articles

Celebrity parents who pimp out their children for fame.

Old hags at a fashion show

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2009 06:45:39 July 16, 2009 06:45:39

Who’s older? It’s hard to say. Dina and Ali Lohan showed up at some fashion show last night in New York looking like two cougar sisters escaped from the small town letting loose in the big city. Ali’s real age, if you can believe it, is actually only 15. She hasn’t looked 15 since she was 8. Full Story

High fashion JailBait

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2009 13:01:25 July 9, 2009 13:01:25

That punching urge… it will overcome you again. Be warned. JailBait Miley Cyrus has “designed” her own line with Max Azria and is launching it at Walmart. She tells Elle Magazine that her intention is to democratise high fashion. Because she loves it so much: “Literally this is going to be good for, like, Middle America, and it will be great for kids that really want to be in fashion but that don’t have it available. Full Story

Britney & Justin v2.0

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 2, 2009 15:24:44 July 2, 2009 15:24:44

They’re manufacturing it already. Something to make you sick courtesy of Disney, the Vagina Virgin Jonas Family, and the people who spawned JailBait. Prepare yourselves… It’s your favourite – Noah Cyrus (you last saw her prancing around in a bathing suit click here Full Story

Crackhead birthday party

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 07:55:08 June 29, 2009 07:55:08

She’s turning 23 on July 2nd but you’d think she’d be at least 10 years older, right? Lindsay Lohan celebrated in Vegas over the weekend looking like she’s been opening her legs for crack for the last decade, and perhaps pimp-beaten and left in an alley on more than one occasion. Full Story

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She’s been plucked

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 24, 2009 06:10:06 June 24, 2009 06:10:06

She’s been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you. It takes a woman to know it. There’s a great line from Shakespeare in Love, a film that in hindsight gets sh-t on all the time for undeservedly taking the Oscar from Saving Private Ryan. Totally disagree. But this is another conversation. Full Story

Please let this fail quickly

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 23, 2009 14:03:42 June 23, 2009 14:03:42

I know Lainey refuses to talk about this trash but I’ve got the floor this afternoon so too bad… Us is reporting that experts predict a slow decline for Jon and Kate. Apparently ratings have been falling steadily as is, and now that the clowns have announced that they’re going to split, producers will be hard pressed to figure out how to transition the show into something new that reaches a new audience. Full Story

What’s the difference?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 17, 2009 07:03:22 June 17, 2009 07:03:22

Remember when the Cyrus family accused Annie Leibovitz of duping a young, impressionable girl when she posed for Vanity Fair last year? Remember they were all like “we feel exploited” and this wasn’t our fault? Yeah well… At the very least, given that it was the famed Annie Leibovitz, you could call it art. Full Story

JailBail gets wet and frisky

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 15, 2009 14:35:25 June 15, 2009 14:35:25

She’s 16. And getting paid to do this. So game on, right? JailBait Miley Cyrus today in Savannah shooting a scene from her new movie The Last Song frolicking with her onscreen boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. As you can see, Liam is very attractive. And you know JailBait is loving it. No wonder she broke up with that 20 year old loser. Full Story