Parent Pimps Articles

Celebrity parents who pimp out their children for fame.

JailBait at the AMAs

November 24, 2008 07:57:13 Posted at November 24, 2008 07:57:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She celebrated her birthday on Sunday at the American Music Awards. Finally but only16. And rumoured to be already living with her loser 20 year old boyfriend with the blessing of her father. This must be why Miley Cyrus keeps looking older every time we see her. Last night it was like she aged 10 years. Full Story

Low classy Beat-Me Mouth

November 19, 2008 13:14:51 Posted at November 19, 2008 13:14:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

JailBait Miley Cyrus appeared on Ellen this week to promote Bolt and made everyone hate her even more. See clip below. I know. You want to slap her in the beat-me mouth, don’t you? That voice, that cackle – how many cigarettes do you have to mainline to achieve that cackle? And the low classy chair fidgeting. Full Story

JailBait, Gay Pilots, Soul Patches, and Mr T

November 18, 2008 10:18:52 Posted at November 18, 2008 10:18:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last night at the Hollywood premiere of Bolt, going head to head with Twilight at the box office this weekend. Family movies vs Vampires and Bond too. It’s a heavyweight battle. Who wins? I’ll settle for Twilight or Bond > the Gay Pilot and JailBait…you? Here’s Travolty on the carpet with Disney JailBait and her beat-me mouth and also her father Billy Ray Cyrus with that f-cking ridiculous soul patch that’s right up there with acid wash as a label for Loser. Full Story

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What She Knows vs What She Is

November 17, 2008 06:33:52 Posted at November 17, 2008 06:33:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When Duana guest posted during our trip to London, she wrote this article about the way they’re selling Britney – the same way they’ve sold her from the beginning. Cutesy and Disneyfied, sweetie pie voice, big smiles, and her head always tilted to the side attempting to evoke innocence where innocence has long since been chicken fried. Full Story

JailBait CakeFace

November 13, 2008 08:01:38 Posted at November 13, 2008 08:01:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Miley Cyrus has finally succeeded in looking older than Ali Lohan. Congratulations! Check out JailBait at the CMAs last night if you can find her under that volcano of makeup that’s exploded all over her face. The point of being young and youthful and no wrinkles and NOT EVEN 16 (!) is to not have to embellish, isn’t it? Or was it? If looking OLD is in, why does Granny Nicole Kidman keep mutilating her face? JailBait brought along her dad and her 20 year old boyfriend Justin Gaston to the event amid rumours that he’s now living with her family. Full Story

What Britney wants

November 12, 2008 08:25:03 Posted at November 12, 2008 08:25:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

After a hospital scare the other day, Britney was in much better spirits yesterday with her family and her booboos at an alligator farm in Louisiana, enjoying some down time before hitting the road hard to promote Circus which drops on December 2nd, her birthday. But is that what she really wants? Am told exclusively that lately Britney behind the scenes, in rehearsal, during photo shoots, at meetings has been saying that she wishes she could just move away from Hollywood, back to Kentwood to raise her babies. Full Story

Dressing up the BooBoos

November 4, 2008 11:56:10 Posted at November 4, 2008 11:56:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As mentioned the other day, Born Again Chicken Fried has taken to using her website as a promotional tool for her new album. Brilliant. She’s also complaining about the paps, posting videos of instances when they’ve gone too far. Fair enough. But now it’s become a family album. Full Story

Chicken Fried Workout with Mama

October 30, 2008 08:16:32 Posted at October 30, 2008 08:16:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A new Britney workout video with her trainer and also with her mother. The same mother who just published a book, profiting from the trials and tribulations of both her daughters. Yay for child stardom! But this goes back to what Duana said last week: Because she knows how.  Full Story

Old Hag Halloween

October 28, 2008 07:13:08 Posted at October 28, 2008 07:13:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Here’s 30 year old Ali Lohan trying to look like a teenager again at the Animals Fair Magazine Halloween Party last night. I think her costume was a cat. A skanky cat. A cat with a see through top showing off her abs and tacky ass acrylic nails. Ali also appears to be borrowing her sister’s dirty face. Full Story

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Because she knows how

October 22, 2008 08:59:48 Posted at October 22, 2008 08:59:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As you may have heard, Britney Spears will celebrate her 27th birthday December 2nd on Good Morning America – and, oh-so-coincidentally, her album drops the same day. Check out the video below to see her blowing out the candles in a promo for what will undoubtedly be a ratings juggernaut. Go on, I’ll wait. Full Story

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How Chicken Fried Junior keeps her man

October 8, 2008 06:50:23 Posted at October 8, 2008 06:50:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lynne Spears is amazing. Two months ago, some trailer twat called Kelli sold her story to In Touch Weekly telling the tabloid that she and Jamie Lynn Spears’s baby father were still getting it on, even after JL found out she was pregnant. Click here Full Story