Parent Pimps Articles

Celebrity parents who pimp out their children for fame.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Dear Gossips,

The Silver Fox spoke the truth yesterday when he basically called Ali Lohan an old hag and an aspiring stripper. The comment was of course directed at her mother, that all class pimp Dina Lohan who continues to deprive her children of a real life.

In typical Dina Lohan fashion, instead of actually considering the true meaning behind them, she took Anderson Cooper’s comments and turned her daughter into a victim – her favourite move. Speaking exclusively to OK! Magazine Dina wailed: “People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him."

Dina Lohan believes in bad karma? I’ll take a piece of that. What are the karmic ramifications for a parent pimp?

Wednesday – online all day, remember to refresh.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Mel B and her creepy husband are not having issues with the bills. Also not the ungrateful Princess of AssTalk.

The Silver Fox hates hags

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 08:12:00 August 5, 2008 08:12:00

Anderson Cooper and Tom Ford. Together. Can you imagine? Sigh. Gay men are so evolved. Especially the ones who are ready and willing to cut a bitch down. Of course you’d expect this from Tom…but from the Silver Fox too? Please. He’s the son of Gloria Vanderbilt. And he was temping for Regis on Regis & Kelly this morning. Full Story

No Hags in the Sisterhood

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 30, 2008 11:20:24 July 30, 2008 11:20:24

Ali and Dina Lohan managed to scam their way into the Sisterhood 2 premiere the other night. Their show is sucking ass…they needed the publicity. Who the f&ck are those morons are wanting Ali’s autograph??? I want you to look at that child’s French manicure. Those long ass clip-on claws. Full Story

Two Old Hags

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 07:44:24 July 28, 2008 07:44:24

Dylan said to me the other day that it’s scary being a single straight dude these days: “I keep givin’ the business to, like, 16 year olds.” He means with his eyes. He keeps eyef7cking the underage ones, thinking they’re legal, only to find out he was 5 minutes away from committing a crime. Full Story

Little McBongo JKL

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 23, 2008 08:25:23 July 23, 2008 08:25:23

OK! Magazine reportedly paid $3 million for the first photos of little Levi McBongo, first son of Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend Camila Alves. As I said last week about it being a waste of money – again another newborn that looks exactly like all newborns. Full Story

Mama Pimp on the town

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 18, 2008 07:05:35 July 18, 2008 07:05:35

Last night was the perfect night for Dina Lohan. Trading on one child to pimp the other, getting photographed and partying her tits off – the most ideal of situations. This is Dina in New York at the Sephora 10th anniversary celebration with son Michael Lohan who must be her Plan C. When Ali Lohan goes off to rehab or gets pregnant, Michael will step up to support his mother. Full Story

Meet Honor

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2008 07:18:32 July 16, 2008 07:18:32

OK! Magazine  paid $1.5 for the first exclusive rights to the Alba Bitch’s baby and follow up photos later on. So here’s Jessica with Honor on the cover of the new issue. No offence to all you moms out there but really, this baby obsession is out of control. Full Story

Jailbait gets hacked

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 14, 2008 05:47:38 July 14, 2008 05:47:38

Another round of Miley Cyrus “scandal” shots – scandalous for Disney, that is, but totally normal for any sex-obsessed, boy crazed 16 year old. The only difference is that THIS 16 year old has become a brand. A projected billion dollar brand. Once upon a time, teenagers were simply entertainers, which was bad enough. Full Story

Babies are for sale!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 11, 2008 07:49:38 July 11, 2008 07:49:38

The MiniVan Majority loves babies! The world loves babies! And thanks to the new power of the Yummy Mummy movement, getting pregnant has become the go-to career move in Hollywood, yielding the easiest paycheque ever. Pose with your newborn! Earn a million dollars! Or $3 million if you’re Matthew McConaughey. Full Story