Parent Pimps Articles

Celebrity parents who pimp out their children for fame.

Miley Cyrus: wanton but unwilling?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 00:42:28 April 28, 2008 00:42:28

Miley’s much hyped photo shoot for Vanity Fair – as you can see, her top half is covered in nothing but a sheet. What’s more alarming though is that expression. That always open mouth hanging open per usual, begging to be desired. Reminder: she’s 15. Of course she wants to be sexy. Full Story

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Everyone Is a Clone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2008 08:13:00 April 17, 2008 08:13:00

So hard to tell these twats apart, especially when their bodies, their men, and even their wombs are all starting to tick the same way. Joel Madden reunited with Nicole Richie yesterday after spending a few weeks apart while Good Charlotte was touring Australia and Europe. They’re now in New York and last night stepped out with Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson. Full Story

With a Mother Like This…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 15, 2008 10:02:00 April 15, 2008 10:02:00

You still like Hayden Panettiere’s chances of NOT becoming Lindsay Lohan? Really??? Check out Hayden and her mother yesterday on set in Vancouver. Next to her mom, finally, Hayden actually looks her age. Endearing too. Feel sorry for her now…especially seeing the face – or the new face – of her parent. Full Story

History Repeats Itself

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 05:52:00 March 31, 2008 05:52:00

Once upon a time, not too long ago, a longhaired pretty teen became the toast of the town, with a hit movie, a recording contract, and a too blonde, too orange mother-manager overseeing her career. Pretty soon she was living at the Chateau Marmont, dating boys much much older, had developed an eating disorder, and in the year 2007 alone, was the proud graduate of not one, not two, but three substance abuse treatment programs. Full Story

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Get Out of Mommy’s Shot

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 28, 2008 07:43:00 March 28, 2008 07:43:00

Young people at a community centre in Harlem yesterday were exploited by Dina Lohan when she dropped in with cameras to shoot a segment featuring the child she’s currently pimping – Ali Lohan. A reminder: Ali Lohan is 14. As you can see, there is nothing 14 about this child. No idea what the scene involved but Dina dragged her mother out along with them, just to make sure everyone in the family is properly used. Full Story

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One More in Training

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 08:46:00 March 26, 2008 08:46:00

Demi Moore in New York headed out of her hotel with youngest daughter Tallulah Belle. My previous comments about Tallulah are here and as you can see, at 14, she’s already training for it. Full Story

What Dina Taught Her

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 20, 2008 11:47:00 March 20, 2008 11:47:00

Dina Lohan must be beaming with orange pride. The wisdom she imparted put to such good use and now disseminated across the internets for public consumption: Her daughter Lindsay Lohan allegedly fellating Calum Best – a screen cap of a video that Calum took while she was coked up her tree last year has been widely circulated. Full Story

Love you President Bartlet

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 18, 2008 14:50:00 March 18, 2008 14:50:00

Martin Sheen was honoured last night with the Stella Adler Studio of Acting Marlon Brando Award. On the carpet Marlon was asked by Page Six to comment on his slag of an ex daughter in law and her plans to prostitute her children on reality tv. Full Story

How Long Before…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 13:02:00 March 11, 2008 13:02:00

Lilo and Ali scrap over a dude? Like ripping each other’s hair out on TMZ? Let’s see.. Ali is 14. Give it a couple of years. By the time she’s 16, bet your fake tits she’ll be caught in flagrante with Lindsay’s boyfriend… Milo Ventimiglia? Don’t tell me it couldn’t happen. Full Story

No Choice?!?!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 6, 2008 08:28:00 March 6, 2008 08:28:00

No sh*t. But then again, why is this surprising? After all, it is Dina Lohan. Dina Lohan who has officially surpassed Joe Simpson in parental pimpage, hellbent on pushing all of her children into child stardom and, in the process, sending her youngest Ali on the same path as her sister Lindsay. Justice! Dina and Ali showed up last night at some event and yapped about their reality show, confirming that indeed Ali is the star of the project: “Lindsay has her own career. Full Story