Parent Pimps Articles

Chicken Fried Princess gets a message from bed

May 28, 2012 15:19:01 Posted at May 28, 2012 15:19:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

“Daddy will love me if I agree to be on this show. Jason, my fiancé, will love me even more if I agree to be in this show. Jason will be there, holding my hand. Jason is smiling at me and nodding his head in encouragement. I’m doing a good job. I’m making him proud of me.” - This is what I wrote last week in an article about Britney Spears’s first day on X Factor auditions, having bailed halfway through the day, incapable of getting through the job without several long “breaks”, and no doubt a booster handful of pills and some sweet-talking, both administered, presumably, by Jason Trawick, her fiancé and conservator who must now resort to video messages taken in bed, and posted on the internet as a public proclamation of his pride and love so as to keep his ward motivated. Full Story

Bieber cracks?

May 28, 2012 14:34:38 Posted at May 28, 2012 14:34:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Justin Bieber has pretty much owned the world the last 2 years. And through it all, including what amounted to a bogus paternity claim, Team Bieber has never wavered - not a stumble, not a break in stride, not a crack in the facade. But it happens to all of them. You know. When they start that young and when it happens so fast, it will always happen to all of them. Full Story

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Chicken Fried needs her breaks

May 25, 2012 14:43:32 Posted at May 25, 2012 14:43:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

It was the first day of auditions for X Factor yesterday with judge Britney Spears. TMZ reported that she lost her sh-t over a contestant singing Hold It Against Me and took off, leaving the other 3 on the panel to continue during her “break”. Britney’s people insist that that’s all it was: a break. Full Story

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Chicken Fried Zombie Judge

May 15, 2012 15:30:24 Posted at May 15, 2012 15:30:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Fame/Flynet, Splash

How do you walk away from $15 million? The thing is, it’s not like Britney Spears has never seen $15 million. She should have $15 million several times over by now. The problem is that it’s never enough. Even when she can barely function without pharmaceutical assistance, and the governance of both her father and her fiancé, it’s still never enough. Full Story

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Did You Survive Celebrity Mother’s Day?

May 14, 2012 14:40:41 Posted at May 14, 2012 14:40:41
Maria Posted by Maria
Photos:
Wenn, Fame/Flynet, Splash, PCN

(Lainey: How was your Mother’s Day? Mother’s Day belongs to Hollywood now. Does it feel like Mother’s Day is being taken over by celebrities and their babies? None of the writers usually featured on this site have babies. So... meet Maria. Maria is a friend. She is also the Managing Editor of Vitamin Daily and just celebrated her first Mother’s Day as a mother (of Jackson, born last year). Full Story

Look familiar? And where’s Blake?

May 4, 2012 17:47:10 Posted at May 4, 2012 17:47:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Chloe Moretz stopped by Letterman yesterday before the Hick screening last night in New York. Some of these expressions, and that turn of her body, does it remind you of someone? I swear in a couple of these thumbnails I thought it was Lindsay Lohan 2006.The style experts are all praisey of Chloe’s “appropriate” outfits. Full Story

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Calling All Parent Pimps!

April 13, 2012 17:23:49 Posted at April 13, 2012 17:23:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Since Marilyn Monroe is so trendy right now, they’re putting out a new reality show about her. Finding Marilyn will feature 12 young girls who dream of stardom. They will be sent to Los Angeles, that pure, innocent town, where they will COMPETE against each other for the right to become Hollywood’s newest “It” girl. Full Story

Evaluating Porny’s baby shower

March 22, 2012 14:37:57 Posted at March 22, 2012 14:37:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh look. PEOPLE Magazine has exclusive photos from Jessica Simpson’s baby shower on Sunday. They’ve released one shot on the website as a promotion for the rest of the images in this week’s issue featuring Adam Levine and Blake Shelton on the cover. Which is why, as I reported Full Story

Jessica Alba vs GOOP

March 20, 2012 14:07:57 Posted at March 20, 2012 14:07:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Oh look. Another celebrity is about to become an author. Because we need MORE books, right? Ask Fran Lebowitz:“There are too many books, the books are terrible, and it’s because you have been taught to have self-esteem.”   God that is such a great quote. And note too - it is NOT a typo. There are too many books and too much self-esteem. Full Story

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Willow Smith is sad

February 28, 2012 18:27:48 Posted at February 28, 2012 18:27:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Willow Smith has been feeling sh-tty. And she`s sharing it on Twitter: Sometimes... Life sucksThis day has been horrific... #wishlifewaseasyI am regular person.... For forget that. Full Story

Cindy pulls back

February 17, 2012 18:55:18 Posted at February 17, 2012 18:55:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Cindy Crawford’s daughter modelled in an ad for Versace Kids. Click here for a refresher. Now Cindy says she’s pulling back on the business. Here’s her explanation:“At this point, she’s too young to pursue a career. There aren’t even a handful of jobs for a 10-year-old girl. Full Story

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The GMD’s humourless child

February 8, 2012 20:47:05 Posted at February 8, 2012 20:47:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Theo Wargo/Getty

I read an article a couple of weeks ago (thanks Anna Maria) about Newt Gingrich vs Mitt Romney that’s interesting on its own merit - click to see - but here’s the part that’s germane to this site: For some reason, (Mitt Romney) has always reminded me of Tom Cruise, and I never could figure out exactly why that was. Full Story

In a hurry ...at 10

January 19, 2012 15:01:49 Posted at January 19, 2012 15:01:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Couple weeks ago I wrote in relation to Chloe Moretz that she’s always in a hurry. That she can’t wait. It’s a teenage compulsion, right? You’re never old enough to do and be x,y,z. Being young and rushing will never go away. To me it’s how the people around them manage their impatience and desires that can make the difference. Full Story

You can do anything!

January 17, 2012 16:33:40 Posted at January 17, 2012 16:33:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

It was my favourite sketch on Saturday Night Live this past weekend, hosted by Daniel Radcliffe. If you’ve been reading my column for a while, this is probably no surprise. One of the running themes is the abuse of Special . You are seeing the consequences of that all over young Hollywood and reality tv right now. Full Story

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