Parent Pimps Articles

Celebrity parents who pimp out their children for fame.

Backed into a corner and betrayed

November 28, 2011 19:38:42 Posted at November 28, 2011 19:38:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash

None of you are surprised, I’m sure, about Miley Cyrus’s maybe but not really but totally admission that she smokes pot. But, um, don’t ask me to judge her for it. Like, the act of doing it, I mean. Because... well... come on now, honestly? But we were never owned by Disney and put to work at 12, or 13, or however young it is when they start. Full Story

Mega Preg

October 24, 2011 14:45:25 Posted at October 24, 2011 14:45:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Spash News, Bauer-Griffin

There was a story last week about how Porny’s dad is still negotiating with a magazine for a half million dollar deal to officially confirm her pregnancy which is why she hasn’t said anything about it yet. Two challenges here:Jessica is apparently quite far along. Jessica is too dumb to hide it. How else can you explain why she’s tottering around JFK in a tight black shirt barely concealing her own baby AND Beyonce’s goose feather pillow? BumpWatch is the worst with reliability, yes, but then there’s just the obvious. Full Story

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A Rock Girlfriend > Dina Lohan

September 28, 2011 15:28:05 Posted at September 28, 2011 15:28:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jason Winslow /Splash

Vulture’s interview with Bebe Buell was the best thing I read yesterday. SO good. Like vintage smut. She keeps saying back in the day, it was a different life, it was a different way. Have you seen Almost Famous? Penny Lane played by Kate Hudson? That was inspired by Bebe Buell. Bebe Buell, I just like saying the whole name, is Liv Tyler’s mother. Full Story

3%

September 26, 2011 21:35:17 Posted at September 26, 2011 21:35:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

That’s the rating for Taylor Lautner’s Abduction on Rotten Tomatoes. 3%!I don’t think I’ve ever seen it go lower than 5. I mean, I’m sure there are films who’ve scored less, and I’m sure you’ll know-it-all all over my inbox to prove it, but 3%, that’s quite an achievement. Full Story

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Another Lohan, just a matter of time

September 8, 2011 08:26:19 Posted at September 8, 2011 08:26:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Everyone is talking about these new photos of Lindsay Lohan’s sister Ali taken on Tuesday in Beverly Hills. Does she look really, really different? Ali is only 17. And, you know, teen faces change all the time. This is why I don’t always think it’s fair when those plastic surgery websites pull up photos from when a celebrity was 18 or whatever comparing to how they look now at 35 and accuse them of getting a new chin, or something. Full Story

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Tom Cruise Jr is the only way

August 22, 2011 12:47:23 Posted at August 22, 2011 12:47:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I just asked Sasha if she thinks Taylor Lautner will ever have another look. You know, other than short hair, a black henley, a bomber, and skinny jeans with combatty boots. Her answer: maybe he can try a necklace one day? It’s a big risk. Like, can you picture him any other way? Other than the way he is today in Australia promoting Abduction? This is just one of the reasons he is Tom Cruise Jr. Full Story

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The Tom Travolta hybrid

August 8, 2011 07:13:00 Posted at August 8, 2011 07:13:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Isn’t he? If you mashed Tom Cruise and John Travolta together, wouldn’t Taylor Lautner come out the other side? As you know, for a long time now, I’ve been calling him Tom Cruise Jr. But lately he’s added a little Danny Zuko/Tony Manero flavour to his dance routine. I call it Top Gun Grease. Full Story

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Maybe you should downsize ...and stop buying shoes

July 21, 2011 14:31:45 Posted at July 21, 2011 14:31:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lindsay Lohan went to court today for a progress report on her probation. Supposedly the probation officer has a hard-on to get her thrown back in prison. The probation officer is clearly our friend. The judge was impartial though, not totally siding with the PO but also giving Lohan the gears for being. Full Story

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Sucking in and posing hard

July 18, 2011 11:56:26 Posted at July 18, 2011 11:56:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chloe Moretz attended the Veuve Clicquot polo event in England yesterday with her brother, just 14 and already doing it better than Lohan herself. Look at her sucking in at the photo wall. There’s even a little oral fixation thrown in there the way Lindsay Lohan used to do it – always with a finger in the mouth, remember? Also a mouth that doesn’t seem to have been tampered with. Full Story

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14 in Hollywood

June 27, 2011 12:21:08 Posted at June 27, 2011 12:21:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chloe Moretz was born in 1997. 1997!!!! I had, like, a real JOB in 1997! Anyway, Chloe is 14. She showed up at the Saturn Awards this weekend in Burbank, CA and posed with a LOT of Try for someone her age. If you’re a dude, and this is what’s out there, how can you be sure that’s legal? Also 14 and also posing, maybe with a little less Try, but Try-full all the same since this is a major fashion campaign for Miu Miu and you can’t tell me that “natural” things happen on a photo shoot, please, is Hailee Steinfeld in her first ad for the brand. Full Story

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Celebrity Malnutrition

June 14, 2011 14:29:38 Posted at June 14, 2011 14:29:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well this is clearly a first world problem. Selena Gomez was hospitalised late last week. The widespread joke was that Bieber had gotten her pregnant. She has since recovered and performed yesterday at Santa Monica Mall. When asked about her health, her answer Full Story