23 Days in Special Needs

May 17, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 17, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

23 days bitch! Yes, I know…it’s much less than 45. But still, considering most people thought originally that she wouldn’t serve more than a few hours as a result of prison overcrowding, 23 days, as in over 3 weeks, is better than nothing. And 23 days behind bars, with no hair extensions, no makeup, no pappies, and worse yet, no one to fellate – 23 days will be an eternity. Not enough to kill the disease and to rid our world of Hollywood Ebola but enough for a temporary vaccination…

Praise Xenu.

As for why her time was cut in half, the LA Sheriff’s Department explained yesterday that Paris was being rewarded for good “inmate behaviour” which means the white wardrobe and the trips to church and the sad baby blue contacts and the visit to dad in the hospital with an 8 year old poster design - it means the act is paying off. A little. But do you love that she’s now being referred to as an inmate? Snort. And do you also love how the authorities were quick to point out that:

"The possibility that she will be processed in and out in a day is over. She will do her full time, minus 22 days …”

Paris will supposedly do that time in a Special Needs Unit for celebrities and other high profile prisoners segregated from general population, likely sharing her cell with someone else in special needs, and allowed out for only an hour a day.

So how will someone like Paris, with nothing much in her head, how will she spend her time, how will she pass the hours without the help of a credit card or a c*ck in her mouth?

Keep hoping, gossips. Please let it happen.

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