Herro Kitty: My People & The Paris

August 16, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at August 16, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
This Paris Hilton Hello Kitty business - in my opinion, not quite the pride of my people and while I"m not Japanese, the spirit of Hello Kittification is truly a pan Asian experience, with a heartbeat as strong in Canton as it is in Kawasaki. For some reason, over there, we breed girls with the maturity of a cartoon frog and the emotional depth of a bow-adorned cat - girls who roll in handholding packs, who erupt in high pitched squeals over something as simple as finding out that the cutesy pencil case they covet comes in green AND powder blue. Now don"t get me wrong, I too was genetically predisposed to the curse, seeing as I used to summer in Hong Kong, spending many pre-teen months immersed in Hello Kitty culture, the results of which have fortunately almost been purged save the unbreakable tendency to cover my mouth with the tips of my fingers whenever I laugh - like hee hee. Still...I"ve been the Kitty, I know the Kitty, and thank Goddess I conquered the Kitty within. But the Kitty lives on around us. And the Kitty has become immortal, because the Kitty has joined forces with Hollywood Ebola , also known as Paris Hilton, the celebrity virus that can never be killed, that will lurk in wait for its next victim, grown stronger now as a result of this new alliance: Asian penetration courtesy of a candy coloured, upright feline, the makers of which have recently created a Paris-inspired special edition. Feel free to throw up any time. And yet if this had never happened, if Hello Hilton had never been conceived, we would also have never had the pleasure - another farking brilliant masterpiece from the farking brilliant visionaries at Gallery of the Absurd, funnier than the halcyon days of Hoff heaven, though I suppose its hilarity might be entirely dependent on your knowledge of Asian-English mangling and the comical results that ensue. On second thought - the hilarity is just universal…period. Seriously, I nearly lost my sh*t reading this one line: "Because your heart are thirsting for wishness to be like Paris. She without talent but famously anyway." Me.On the floor. Laughing my Chinese ass off. And the accompanying paragraph is even funnier. You MUST check it out. I thanking to dear Sharon for let me know. So kind of her to telling me the information.
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