Paris Hilton: sucking cock will give you wonky eye

August 23, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at August 23, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
I really didn"t want to do this, to write about her this week, to throw the spotlight any more than I have to on the launch of her record. But Blender changed all that. An "insightful" interview in which Paris talks Paris, the famous interview with this now famous quote about her album: "When this record comes out, people are gonna change their f—kin’ tune. I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it’s so good.” And because we all know Paris Hilton is Hollywood Ebola, I"ve no doubt this thing will probably go platinum, because that"s just the way sh*t goes these days. Still…the interview had other hightlights, among them a hilarious description from Paris on what her mother taught her about fellatio: “My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters – she knew this person who had craters. I’m like, ‘What is that from?’ She’s like, from giving bl-w j-bs.” “I’m like, ‘You get craters?’ And I totally believed her. She’s like, ‘It’s from sucking.’ I’m like, ‘Ewwww!’ I told my boyfriend – he’s like, ‘Why don’t you ever do that?’ I’m like, ‘Because my mom told me you get these craters.’ And he’s like, ‘Paris, you’re 19. You’re allowed to do this.’” Obviously Kathy Hilton was wrong about the relationship between craters and cocksucking. Paris clearly has decent skin. But she does have a wonky eye. So now the question becomes: does the optical wonky come from the oral wanking? Sorry…couldn"t resist. Interview details via Us Weekly
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