Son of Spelling Caused Hollywood Ebola

March 27, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 27, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Randy Spelling, son of Aaron, brother to Tori – like every other useless, rich kids in Hollywood, he has a new reality show alongside other useless rich kids David Weintraub and Rod Stewart’s son whose name is irrelevant.

So to pimp his new show, Randy is riding on the flaps of Paris Hilton, knowing that we don’t give a sh-t about his useless rich existence he has decided to exploit her useless rich existence, in addition to the black hole between her legs, revealing to the world that he gave birth to Hollywood Ebola.... which means that in addition to Homewrecking Hag we can now add Father COntamination to the illustrious Spelling Spawn List of Accomplishments.

According to Randy he took Paris’s virginity when she was 15:

"We were together for like two months. We went to Palm Springs once for the weekend, and we couldn"t check into the hotel under her name because her grandma was looking for her. She was like 15; I was 17. And what do you know, I hear this knock-knock-knock on the door, and I look out and her grandma"s there. And then I look out the window and I see Paris in a full-on dress with a suitcase running down the golf course. We broke up like a week later."

However as costar David Weintraub hilariously added: "Randy was Paris" number one and her number 50 and number 150."

And so it goes… what Randy opened never closed. Like Pandora"s Box with one HUGE difference: only rot and disease and destruction has come from  Hollywood Ebola. There never was Hope, there never will be Hope.

Thank you Randy Spelling.

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