Walking Behind Ebola

November 29, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at November 29, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s protocol for royalty, right? The noble blood walks first, the spouse must lag behind?

Last night, Paris Hilton trotted her latest victim out for the paps, conveniently during a little visit with her parents who OF COURSE loved the Pizza Boy. As you can see, no photo opportunity was wasted, even though Ebola told Ellen yesterday that she was single.

His is Alex Vagamuffin – something like that. Poor thing will likely be bleeding from 7 orifices by the end of the year. This is a virus’s effect on a person, see?

As for Kathy Hilton… did you read the incredibly dishy and SCATHING article on her in Vanity Fair last month? If no, click here. It is a LONG piece but worth every word. Promise.

Turns out the Hiltons aren’t as rich as they’d like you to believe. And Paris is hardly an “heiress”. Apparently, her father’s yearly income from being a Hilton is only $400,000. It’s a lot of money for you and me but for people who roll as they pretend to roll…$400K is a pittance.

Which is why they have to bust their asses workin’ it. And workin’ it hard. Workin’ it with sex tapes. Workin’ it on her knees and in her mouth.

And the biggest insult? They actually have to RENT OUT their house in the Hamptons. Oh the horror! Imagine owning a pad in the Hamptons and not being able to afford it without letting people stay there? Sweet Xenu, the shame! The shame!

Even worse – the place is reportedly an insect-infested hole! Windows are broken, dirt everywhere, spiders crawling… what kind of an heiress maintains a Hamptons slum?

It’s all a fraud, y’all. But not surprising when you think of it, non? After all, only two sh*ts could raise a disease.

PS. Ebola has man legs. Like when a dude dresses up as a chick for Halloween and wears pantyhose? Totally.

Photos from Splash

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