Ebola to infect Canada…again

July 31, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at July 31, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The last time Hollywood Ebola spread her legs in Canada, her disease nearly wiped out a relationship and sounded the death toll on a hockey career. And she was only here for 2 days. Can you imagine the destruction after several weeks? And during the Toronto International Film Festival, no less? Disaster ahead… look out.

It was Summer 2006. Ebola was invited by MuchMusic to present at the MMVAs. At an after party she ran into Jose Theodore, former goaltender for the Montreal Canadiens, then traded to the Colorado Avalanche. The two were photographed holding hands and supposedly went home together. Not terribly scandalous except for the fact that his long time love had just given birth to a baby girl with some health issues. Since then, Jose has had what can only be described as an atrocious season– eventually ceding his starting spot to the team’s back up goaltender by the end of it even though his salary is a whopping $6 million year…the worst albatross of a contract in the NHL right now.

Blame Hollywood Ebola. See? Her virus kills every time.

And now she’s coming back. Just announced – some movie musical starring Paul Sorvino about genetically engineered organs and something else but I stopped caring. The director says he auditioned over 30 actresses but Paris was The One. I’m telling you… the twat needs to teach a university course on sucking c*ck – perhaps her one chance at genuinely contributing something to society.

Anyway, shooting starts September 10th in Toronto. Help us all.

Here’s Ebola at the Rush Hour premiere last night in support of the film’s director Brett Ratner who wants to put her in his next movie which is why she’s all smiles. Apparently she blew him too.

PS. Not cut out of her inheritance. Sorry… wish I wasn’t such a downer today but that story about her grandfather freezing her out – total bollocks.


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