Paris Hilton Gossip

Paris Hilton gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

The Best Rossum Ever!

May 14, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 14, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You will laugh your ass off… so pathetically obvious, so pathetically cheese, so desperate, so contrived – only Paris Hilton, you know? Only Paris is capable of this kind of blatant Rossum. All because of 45 days in the slammer…do you love it, or do you LOVE it? Check it out – Hollywood Ebola in virginal white, with her Mommy and her Wittle Sister, hands clasped piously, leaving church yesterday as cameras just happened to commemorate the moment… can you believe this piece of sh-t? And what is it? Like the 10th day in the row she’s worn white? Can a new wardrobe save her from prison? Can a new wardrobe close the black hole between her legs? Undecided on the first count, absolutely NOT on the second. Full Story

Homewrecker"s Mother gives advice to Ebola

May 14, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 14, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

TMZ has obtained an exclusive open letter from Candy Spelling to Paris Hilton, a public lecture if you will on the merits of classy behaviour...this from a woman who raised another woman who stole another woman’s husband and openly waged war against her own mother. Rich, non? Wonder what Kathy Hilton is going to say about this. Full Story

The Example

May 10, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 10, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If only there were more Tina Feys in Hollywood…but then it wouldn’t be Hollywood, right? A stunning Tina Fey at the Time Magazine event the other night, earning and deserving a spot on the Time 100: - first female head writer on Saturday Night Live- one of the best anchors of Weekend Update- wrote the screenplay for Mean Girls…critically praised, described as an even “better version of Heathers”- is the creator, producer, writer, and star of 30 Rock, the season’s most acclaimed new sitcom And of course, one more reason to worship Tina Fey – you will recall it was Tina who openly called Paris Hilton a PIECE OF sh-t on Howard Stern last year. Full Story

Help Them!

May 10, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 10, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

SO revolting…have you ever seen anything so revolting? Hollywood Ebola facing temporary vaccination, facing 45 days behind bars, doing whatever she can to escape that fate, and now resorting to exploiting her pets, those poor poor pets subjected to a lifetime of captivity with the skankest ho in Hollwood – there really is no bottom when it comes to Paris Hilton, non? Here she is, juggling three dogs – accessories to be toted out whenever convenient and then ignored the rest of the time, deprived of genuine love and affection that comes with a real animal lover instead of the part-time convenient caring that comes with being owned by Hollywood’s most frivolous beast. Full Story

Told to be Contrite

May 9, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 9, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Is it contrition if it"s ordered? You know what the scary thing is? The scary thing is there are some idiots in the world who will actually believe that she means what her lawyer told her to say. The good news however is that finally, finally, finally, Paris Hilton is beginning to understand the cold, hard truth: that she is universally despised, that she is universally regarded as – what Tina Fey called – a piece of sh-t. Full Story

Look at Me! I’m Crying!!!

May 9, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 9, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hollywood Ebola Hollywood Ebola shedding tears… and rolling down her window to make sure you see her! Here she is, feeling sorry for herself leaving an attorney’s office yesterday. Apparently she’s hired a new lawyer, rehired her old publicist Elliot Mintz, and is offering to blow appealing to Governor Arnold to avoid a prison sentence. Full Story

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Dear Gossips,

The Oscars are the Oscars – no equal in terms of prestige. But not everyone goes to the Oscars. Not everyone is invited. Not everyone has the opportunity to represent an Oscar-calibre film.

But the Costume Institute Gala… the Costume Institute Gala is another beast entirely.

Thanks to your visits and your support of this site, I have been fortunate to cover the Oscars, the Junos, and the Toronto International Film Festival on behalf of eTalk and I’m telling you, in terms of star power and shameless amusement, none compare to the Costume Institute Gala…simply because it’s just so.well.attended. Like seriously… they ALL show up!

When you get to these events, members of the media receive what’s called a “Tip Sheet” – a list of expected attendees just as a heads up of who to look out for. More often than not, the tip sheet is a Wish List. They’ve been invited, but there’s never any guarantee that they’ll come. And 9 out of 10 times, the tip sheet comes up woefully short.

But the Tip Sheet at the Costume Institute Gala ran 3 pages long FRONT AND BACK. That’s 30 names per side, almost six full sides. So before it all kicked off, our crew was in the holding area picking off the best bets, salivating over the prospect of a certain arrival, almost sure that we’d be sorely disappointed. And then they came. They ALL came. A clusterf-ck of A List strutting, posing, sauntering down the carpet. THEY ALL CAME. One after another, car after car dropping off a bigger name than before. Yes… I lost my sh-t.

And course… Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan came last. All details below, including smutty observations and fashion commentary.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Haven’t slept in 2 days. Am wired, please forgive typos? Many, many articles to follow – perhaps too many for one page. So don’t forget to scroll down to the bottom and click “view more articles” to catch up. NB. Blog works in reverse chronological order. First post will appear further down, so if you want to start at the beginning, start at the bottom, and don’t forget to click “view more”! The column today is over 5,000 words!

PPS. I’m sorry if your favourite star isn’t included – as I’ve mentioned, EVERYONE showed up. Too many to count!

PPS. The world never ceases to amaze. Can you believe Paris Hilton actually has a fan? A fan willing to issue death threats in her defence? More on that later.

45 Days for Rocky

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And why not? As I promised last week, if Rocky could secure a jail sentence for Hollywood Ebola, he would sit atop the Freebie Five for a month. But given Paris’s sentence, why not 45 days? That’s how long she’s supposed to be locked up, non? As for whether or not she’s really going to be locked up, many are predicting a very short stay in the slammer, if at all. Full Story

Friday, May 4, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Grey’s Anatomy – the 2 hour special. Never thought I would enjoy watching a hit show unravel so spectacularly but in this case, it’s like the Britney Spears of network television. Just when you don’t think it can get any worse… it actually does! Which is why the reviews have been scathing – according to Entertainment Weekly"s Gregory Kirschling:

I"m trying to think of something pleasant to say about last night"s two-hour Grey"s Anatomy, and...I"m still thinking.


But hey… at least Addison’s wardrobe looks promising, and really - what could be more important than that?

It’s Friday – GO ROCKY! Rocky is the Los Angeles City Attorney who is determined to throw Paris Hilton in the slammer for 45 days. Rocky is my new boyfriend. And Rocky goes to court today. Let’s hope Rocky takes down Hollywood Ebola… temporarily at least.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Best story ever: Kristi S, longtime LaineyGossip.com reader from Fullerton CA – turns out it’s her grandmother Elsie McLean who has been the much hyped media superstar this week for hitting her first hole-in-one last month at the age of…

102!!!

Elsie plays golf 3 times a week, bridge on Wednesdays, and still drives herself around town. And she has been invited to appear on Jay Leno tonight and will be cuddling up with Ellen DeGeneres next Tuesday. Y’all must watch. Elsie is a gem!!!

Hollywood Ebola to Prison!!!

May 4, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 4, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He did it! Rocky did it! The LA Attorney"s office wanted to put that sh-t away and a judge has agreed - Paris Hilton will serve 45 days in jail. And unlike other Hollywood situations this was NOT planned - definitely conspiracy but this time on our side! That skank did not expect to be sent to the slammer. Full Story

Hollywood Ebola headed for prison?

May 3, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 3, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Los Angeles City Attorney is my new boyfriend. And if he is successful in this case, I swear he’ll sit atop the Freebie Five for a month. Paris Hilton is scheduled in court tomorrow. If you recall, she was pulled over, she blew the minimum on a breathalyser, they suspended her license and then she was stopped two more times for driving without permission. Full Story