Paris Hilton Gossip

Paris Hilton gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Most Desperate: Kristin Cavallari

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 21, 2006 12:00:00 August 21, 2006 12:00:00

Laguna Beach – my dirty little secret. Yet even so, in my humble old fashioned opinion, a reality show celebrity is not a real celebrity and, as such, deserves no place in my column. Having said that, I couldn’t resist one exception…especially when Kristin screwed up so satisfyingly tonight. Worst extensions this side of Tara Reid, don’t you think? And the dress? Totally 2004, at best 2005, and hate to say it but Paris Hilton wore it better. Full Story

Herro Kitty: My People & The Paris

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2006 12:00:00 August 16, 2006 12:00:00

This Paris Hilton Hello Kitty business - in my opinion, not quite the pride of my people and while I"m not Japanese, the spirit of Hello Kittification is truly a pan Asian experience, with a heartbeat as strong in Canton as it is in Kawasaki. For some reason, over there, we breed girls with the maturity of a cartoon frog and the emotional depth of a bow-adorned cat - girls who roll in handholding packs, who erupt in high pitched squeals over something as simple as finding out that the cutesy pencil case they covet comes in green AND powder blue. Full Story

Macca to Mills: the glory days are gone, bitch!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 9, 2006 12:00:00 August 9, 2006 12:00:00

The Goddess gives and the Goddess takes away. Just a year ago, Heather Mills was married to a billionaire. Cut to present and she can"t even get in the door. Having the locks changed on you is embarassing enough but having the locks changed on you when the pappies are around??? As the Fug Girls would say: Well played Goddess…well played. Full Story

The Many Whims of Mrs Beckham

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2006 12:00:00 August 4, 2006 12:00:00

This is why I love Victoria. Victoria, you see, is an entertainer. Victoria understands the power of her own brand, why we"re obsessed, what exactly it is that keeps us coming back. There are those who write to me all the time - how could you love her so? She"s revolting, she"s a CHAV, she"s ridiculous, she"s crazy, she"s a bitch, blah blah blah blah blah. Full Story

Kevin Federline: Hollywood NF

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 3, 2006 12:00:00 August 3, 2006 12:00:00

Necrotising Fasciitis. Otherwise known as flesh eating disease. And since the viral market has already been cornered by Paris Hilton"s Hollywood Ebola, it"s only right that Kfed lays claim to bacterial infections, seeing as his peculiar brand of degenerate filth has already irreversibly altered the pop tart of a generation. Full Story

Friday, July 21, 2006 Dear gossips, Do you miss the days when the Hoff was lower key and lower profile? When obsessing over his unique level of cheese wasn’t a national past time? I miss those days. Because now that’s he back on the telly, now that his Hoffness is readily accessible across so many platforms, his special Hoff lustre is just a little less Hoff. The true essence of Hoff, you see, was in its innocence – an underground appreciation willingly bestowed upon a man who seemed to offer homegrown Hoffness without guile or obsequiousness. But that was then. That was last year before he became everyone’s favourite flavour of the moment, back when I launched the Hoff Contest in December, celebrating the Hoffassity during the holidays, months before getting a Hoff video in your inbox became a daily occurrence. Because really…can the Hoff still be the Hoff if he’s a mainstream Hoff? No, gossips. The days of Hoff Heaven are over. And it is time to crown a new King. Dear Hoff: You’re dead to me. In today’s issue: on Hayden & Sienna, on Ashlee & Jessica, on Ryan & Rachel, on America, on Ellen, Tara’s tits take a tumble, and Paris Hilton sets a Hollywood example.

Paris Hilton’s Celebrity Lesson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2006 12:00:00 July 21, 2006 12:00:00

Beyond the art of infecting Hollywood with her legendary viral potency or fellating with fervour for the cameras, there are few things that Paris Hilton can contribute to the world of celebrity. We know she can’t act, we know she can’t sing, we KNOW she can’t dance, and please don’t insult me by making me assure you that the bitch certainly can’t write. Full Story

Mischa Barton: almost perfect

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2006 12:00:00 July 16, 2006 12:00:00

Aside from the big ass stain that is her bitchy personality – which isn’t exactly rare in Hollywood – in my eyes, Mischa Barton is as close to perfect as it gets. Naturally beautiful, great skin, great hair, great style…and I actually kind of like the fact that she digs ugly men. It’s so Paulina Porizkova, don’t you think? So anyway, back to Mischa’s gargantuan flaw: quite obviously, her acting. Full Story

Lindsay: new man, new spread

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 7, 2006 12:00:00 July 7, 2006 12:00:00

GQ that is. Check it out - La Lohan in all her tarty glory, showing us exactly why she"s dominating the smut scene these days, with a stern “f&ck you” message sent directly to Paris Hilton about who really owns it and who really deserves it. My girl has a great bottom, doesn"t she? A great bottom that"s loading up the mileage. Full Story

The Daily Footie: Dwight Yorke

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 7, 2006 12:00:00 July 7, 2006 12:00:00

Would the list be complete without a Soca Warrior who used to play for United? Can you think of a more perfect combination? Beyond the obvious - the kind, winning smile, the ass smacking gyrations he proudly displayed during Carnival, the way he left his heart and soul on the pitch, how he led his team to the World Cup Finals for the first time ever - beyond all this, Dwight also has a rather salacious past: an ex lover, a paternity fight, a DNA test…all contributing factors to why he deserves to be recognised. Full Story

The Daily Boring: Liz Hurley

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 30, 2006 12:00:00 June 30, 2006 12:00:00

Never mind that unsightly bump on the end of her nose. Never mind that she"s the most overrated "actress", like, ever. Never mind that she"s probably done even less than Paris Hilton to become a celebrity. Never mind all that. What bothers me most about Liz Hurley is that she looks the same over and over and over again. Full Story