Paris Hilton Gossip

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Ebola’s Safe Spot

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 28, 2008 08:40:54 March 28, 2008 08:40:54

Am sure you’ve all seen it – this clip of a rhythmically impaired Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton trying to belly dance on Turkish television – as is the case whenever she attempts to groove, Paris is found to be seriously lacking. Full Story

A Sensible Swap

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 11:55:00 March 26, 2008 11:55:00

So Benji Madden and Ebola are now supposedly an item. This less than two weeks after he broke off his engagement with Sophie Monk. The much better looking Sophie Monk. And for those who say looks aren’t everything – are you going to tell me that diseased virus Paris Hilton has a better personality than Sophie Monk? Really??? But clearly… clearly this makes more sense. Full Story

The Perils of a Pimp Mom

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 13:39:00 March 17, 2008 13:39:00

This is what happens when your mother is more interested in pimping you than she is in raising you. Not only do you become a drug addict, so used and loose at only 21 that even the p*ssy posse wants nothing to do with you wants nothing to do with you Full Story

Nicole plans a party

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 07:04:00 March 11, 2008 07:04:00

Nicole Richie went shopping yesterday for party – Joel is turning 29. Note the pretty “H” necklace she’s wearing… love the name Harlow. Also like Winter. And love love love her angel wing headscarf. Did you know that pictures of Nicole fetch more than Ebola? Word is Paris was initially not pleased when she learned of this but then decided to use the disparity to her advantage in a photo opp of her own. Full Story

My Name is Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 11:50:18 March 4, 2008 11:50:18

You like that show? My Name is Earl? If so, look out. Because it’s about to become a lot more diseased. Just confirmed – Hollywood Ebola will play herself in the season return in April. Perhaps the writers will be clever and subversively nail her ass to the wall like she deserves. Perhaps she’ll be too dumb to understand the true intent behind the script. Full Story

Ebola Shames Shamans

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 08:26:10 March 4, 2008 08:26:10

Not that there was any doubt but there are always one or two random losers… one or two who probably believed yesterday that Ebola’s little public excursion at the weekend with a shaman represented a genuine metamorphosis from virus to redeemable human. Wrong. Paris Hilton will always be a disease. Full Story

Ebola"s Desperate Measures

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2008 06:55:00 March 3, 2008 06:55:00

She infected her own movie – only 20 people went to see it. And everything else has permanently stalled. As such, Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton is grasping at straws, desperately resorting to the lamest cockamamie schemes for attention. Last week, after dating for an hour, she and Benji Madden professed their sudden, undying love. Full Story

Vintage Ghetto Stroke Face

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 29, 2008 06:57:44 February 29, 2008 06:57:44

Tara Reid hit up Villa last night – how on earth did she get in??? How on earth did she get in with that face? As you can see, Tara’s Stroke Face is droopier than ever. Doesn’t hurt that she’s been on a bender since well before Chinese New Year – from London to LA, this is the life when you can’t get work. Full Story

Friday, February 15, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Up until recently, for me it’s always been Ellen > Oprah. Always. But at the very, very least, the Mighty Opes doesn’t invite Ebola on to her stage and expose her flock to infection. As such, Oprah’s lambs have been spared the evil emanating from Paris Hilton’s black hole vagina.

Elle Degeneres’s audience, however, has not been so fortunate.

Time and again, Ellen brings back that skank twat disease. And time and again, instead of spitting on it, she’s actually nice to it. Very nice. Too nice.

WTF? Does Ellen actually need Paris Hilton for ratings???

That would be no.

Ellen had Ebola on her show again this week and simpered through the entire interview, even when Ebola mentioned she was abusing and neglecting 17 dogs in addition to the cats and various other animals that have suffered the misfortune of being adopted into her home.

Revolting. And sad. Because now Ellen Degeneres is officially infected. Ellen is done.

Was stuck in dress fitting hell yesterday but it’s finally Friday! Am blogging all day – check back often. Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is not having help issues. Kate Bosworth hasn’t been blowing away the pain. Lately. And Eric Bana’s wife is not a lesbian.

Ebola Infects Her Own Brother!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2008 00:00:00 February 12, 2008 00:00:00

Her virus does not discriminate! It will take down even her own family members! TMZ.com broke the story – Ebola Paris Hilton’s little brother Barron was arrested for DUI this morning at 8:30am in Malibu. Another Hilton attempts vehicular homicide. Brilliant. Barron Hilton is 18. If memory serves, the legal drinking age in the United States is 21. Full Story

The Dirtiest Face Ever

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2008 09:58:22 February 12, 2008 09:58:22

Am sorry to say but Lindsay Lohan is officially ugly. And this isn’t calling someone ugly first thing on a Sunday, or when they’re wearing their glasses walking the dog with eye snot in the morning. This is Lindsay Lohan in a very cute outfit yesterday, shopping at Bristol Farms. She KNEW she was going to get photographed. Full Story

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