The GMD on high alert

January 6, 2011 07:01:10 Posted at January 6, 2011 07:01:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Get the popcorn ready. There’s a war coming. And it looks like we all get to watch. And they’re doing it Hollywood revenge styles. So, like, totally our favourite kind of catfight. Only this might bring a few more chills.

Remember how Paul Haggis, Oscar-winning director, used to be a Scientologist – for over 30 years! – and he realised how f-cked they are so he broke up with Xenu in 2009 and threatened to go public with what he knows?

Well…

It sounds like he’s going public.

According to Gawker, Haggis is writing a book called The Heretic of Hollywood: Paul Haggis vs.The Church of Scientology exposing “David Miscavige's violence, the enslavement of "Sea Org" volunteers, and forced abortions for church workers” and more. Jesus. That’s some heavy sh-t. I thought we’d just be reading about Tom Cruise’s boys only pool parties.

David Miscavige of course is the head of the Sci Church and also the GMD’s best friend. Needless to say, Haggis’s departure from the secret lair was and still is a source of great concern – his high profile will make it harder for them to carry out their usual fear and intimidation tactics. They’ve been known, allegedly, to plan elaborate suicide schemes to eliminate their enemies.

No but seriously…

And Tom Cruise lives this. Which means Katie Holmes does too.

It’s CRAZY.

Click here
for more information from Gawker.

Is it weird that there are only, like, maybe, two photos of Tom and John Travolta together? I wanted to post one along with this article. They’re rare. So we’ll just have to go with South Park instead.

Anyway, you know what I’ve always wondered about? If the GMD ever wins an Oscar, is he obligated to shout out Xenu? Would his speech be like the time he won the Xenu Freedom Award for Freedomness? Set to the music of Mission Impossible? You’ve seen this video, right? If no, this is what you’re doing for the next 5 minutes. I really love when they salute each other. Like it’s the army. And I really love that they do the same at the end to that founder guy, L Ron Hubbard. Like he invented a religion out of science fiction novels.

Did I ever tell you about the time I was on the 5pm news here in Vancouver and I made a crack about Xenu Sci on the air and I came home to a warning message from someone who’d been watching? The email wasn’t all hilariously nuts Twi-Hardy the way they can be. It was a lot calmer in tone. It was a threat about being monitored and eventually reckoned with.

So. If one day I don’t show up to blog….




File photo from Wenn.com

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