Poor Jen the Victim Again

June 13, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 13, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You thought the Pity Era was over, didn’t you? The crying, the ocean-shouting, the bring-your-own-hanky Pilates parties full of self discovery and “closure… you thought we had moved on, right?

Unfortunately for Jennifer Aniston, Pity is a constant state of mind. And so it goes again, Pity when her marriage dissolved, Pity when another woman gave Brad babies, Pity when Vince wouldn’t step up, Pity when Vince flirted with some London lass caught on camera, now Pity Encore because her new model boyfriend Paul Sculfor is a former drug addict who snorted coke once before meeting Mandela and who may or may not be using Jen to get a leg up in Hollywood.

Cover of Us Weekly reads: Meet Jen’s Mr Wrong – the dark past of Jen’s boyfriend which will undoubtedly prompt MiniVan Majority concern and mobilisation, a rally cry in support of their favourite, readying to catch her when she falls…in other words: Stephen Huvane’s favourite tactic.

As Brad and Angelina get ready to release A Mighty Heart, Jennifer Aniston clutches at the spotlight by pulling out the victim card and begging for compassion.

But seriously… isn’t it tired? Can’t she grow a spine? When will she grow a spine?

How about for a change a PR strategy that doesn’t involve making people feel sorry for her? How about she speaks out against Hollywood Ebola? How about, just as she’s leaving Il Sole after dinner with Courteney one night, an intrepid pappo asks her (totally unplanned of course) – hey Jen, what do you think of Paris. And Jen says – she’s a sorry excuse for a human being and I hope she rots in that jail cell.

I’d be a fan for life.

Because the alternative? This endless ongoing need for a huge public hug? I’m bored.

source

Previous Article Next Article