Paul vs. Heather: it’s on bitch!
July 31, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at July 31, 2006 12:00:00
Like my best friend Gwyneth, I adore the Brits. And part of the reason behind my shameless anglophilia is because the Brits, above all, know how to fight the good fight. Never mind the tried and true “irreconcilable differences” approach to celebrity split. Divorce is dirty. And a billion dollar divorce is the absolute dirtiest. Which is why Paul McCartney’s stock just went through the roof in my books for citing “unreasonable behaviour” as the reason behind his expensive separation. Simply put, he could not longer stand that golddigging c-bomb. And he’s prepared to get nasty to prevent her from getting her manky little hands on his fortune. Now interestingly enough, I hear Sir Paul never intended it to go this route. I hear he was prepared to negotiate on civilized terms, with a fair (read enormously generous) settlement that most people thought would make that bitch happy. But it was not to be. My sources say (and yes, this is rumour, conjecture and if you work on the Mills rabid legal team, please f&ck right off) that Heather allegedly pushed him beyond his limits, not only allegedly using the baby as a pawn but also allegedly psychologically threatening him with some despicable accusations, along the lines of “I remember walking in on you changing her and you were looking at her in that way, weren’t you?” Obviously no one believes it and yet no one doubts that this woman is capable of saying it, least of all Paul. And while I’m told none of this was committed to paper, that it all took place during phone conversations with innocent off hand remarks intended to leave a scar, it was supposedly enough to spur McCartney into action, with an incensed Stella behind him all the way. So do I even need to ask which side you’re on???