Penny & Lenny???

May 10, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 10, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Indeed…that’s the story. That Penelope Cruz has moved from Josh Hartnett to Lenny Kravitz and the two are making Spanish rocker sexytime prompting the usual conundrum whenever she hooks on to someone new: is she Bearding or Where’s the Purse?

All thanks, of course, to the Gay Midget Dwarf.

Because ever since their romance, it’s been largely concluded in the Gossip Guidebook that Pene is a professional beard – a girlfriend for hire to hide the Homo, played out publicly with Tom Cruise, and followed up by a 2 year relationship with Matthew McConaughey, leading to heightened smutty speculation and interest into his orientation as well. Call it gay by association and whenever there’s an association with Penelope Cruz, automatically the queer comes up.

Many are convinced she’s gay herself, it’s almost legendary at this point: Pene totally has a girlfriend, so and so saw so and so’s mother who was shopping at XYZ and she was holding hands with a hot chick in the canned food aisle at the market…that kind of thing.

But unlike John Travolta and the multi-city massage, to my knowledge anyway, nothing has ever remotely come close to being slamdunk…and so I prefer to pull the wool and go on thinking she’s straight, was hired for fame for the GMD, and then went on to have a not-for-pay romance with Matthew.

If however you are on the Pene Cruz conspiracy train, this new Lenny love story becomes very interesting. Because the modelising Lenny certainly doesn’t need to Purse for anyone…although it really is the most interesting coincidence, given that Lenny bedded but refused to wed Nicole Kidman and subsequently broke her heart – if Penelope somehow manages to make that happen, wouldn’t it be the most delicious one-up of The Freeze? Do you love it, or do you LOVE it?

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