Star Wars plot: Luke needs a hand

July 21, 2014 14:51:56 Posted at July 21, 2014 14:51:56
Sarah Posted by Sarah

Turn away if your eyeballs are a pristine, spoiler-free environment. We’re discussing potential Star Wars Episode VII plot details, so if you don’t want to know, go no further. It’s nothing particularly revelatory—it’s not like, “and then everyone at the wedding died” territory—but I know some people are special snowflakes who don’t like to know anything about a movie before they see it. Here be spoilers.

Digital geekery collective Badass Digest has some plot details for New New Star Wars that continue us on the “I’m trying not to get my hopes up but you’re making it really hard because all of this sounds great” path. The details only concern the set-up of the story, which starts with the image of a severed hand, gripping a light saber, falling through space. Gross! Awesome! Light sabers! I’m into it already. The hand lands on a desert planet and is discovered by two characters played by John Boyega and Daisey Ridley. No word on who Ridley is playing yet, but Boyega is playing a Storm Trooper.

But I thought Storm Troopers were just disposable clones that no one cared about…? Whatever, if this means we can pretend like the prequels never happened, great. That means we can also forget that Darth Vader ever talked about sand. So Boyega is a Storm Trooper who deserts his post in order to find the rightful owner of the light saber, which leads him and Ridley to Han Solo and Chewbacca. Han recognizes Luke’s light saber, but he hasn’t actually seen Luke in thirty years—since the events of The Return of the Jedi. Meanwhile, the bad guys are building a new super-weapon. It’s probably not a moon.

So that’s the set up. The Rebels may have won the battle on Endor and destroyed the second Death Star, but obviously all is not well in the Empire. And where is Luke? What has he been up to? Did he just lose his remaining flesh hand? What is it with Jedis and Siths always severing each other’s limbs? It’s weirdly fetishistic. Also, courtesy a new video for the Star Wars: Force for Change campaign, we have a clear look at an X-Wing. It’s dirty and beat up and REAL, which is better than anything in the prequels.

Everything about Old New Star Wars was too sleek and shiny and obviously CG—it was like constantly staring into the Uncanny Valley. Of course there will be CG effects in New New Star Wars, but I like that Abrams is putting forth the effort to build as many practical sets as possible. It just looks better, and it says a lot about the care and attention going into Episode VII. Dammit, JJ. Stop raising my hopes!

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