Posing Articles

Met Back-Hard Pose-Hard: Renee Zellweger

May 3, 2011 09:09:20 Posted at May 3, 2011 09:09:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As I’ve already noted on previous occasions, it is not a relaxing exercise watching Renee Zellweger posing on a carpet. So much effort is involved. The first time I covered the Costume Institute Gala it was with my friend Lara – hi Lara!!! – and we were obviously jerking off over every single arrival and I remember standing beside Lara as Renee was doing her thing, and afterwards, after she had ducked into the doors, both of unconsciously started rolling our shoulders and turning our necks, as if we needed a massage, just from seeing Renee lock her body into place for the cameras. Full Story

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SAG Hernia: Lea Michele

January 31, 2011 07:38:03 Posted at January 31, 2011 07:38:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’ve had hernias on the mind for days, when Charlie Sheen apparently busted one last week after an allnighter with a briefcase full of cocaine. Last night, while Lea Michele was over-working it on the carpet, I thought she was going to bust one too. The concentration on her face, while posing, and adjusting, sucking in, angling her shoulders, she had the focus and the determination of a Chinese kid practising piano – what’s up Amy Chua!?! I’m telling you, Victoria Beckham would have looked relaxed in comparison. Full Story

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Posh & the British First Lady

December 8, 2010 14:29:19 Posted at December 8, 2010 14:29:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chill. I know that’s not the official term. But I only have so much room in my titles and “the wife of the Prime Minister” is a f-cking mouthful so can you not be such a tightass this one time and just deal? Because otherwise you won’t fully enjoy the amazingness of these pictures. Full Story

Little body, big shoes, pose hard

August 9, 2010 06:53:59 Posted at August 9, 2010 06:53:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Totally down with Lea Michele’s dress. And she’s totally down with her own dress. Because she’s giving herself an aneurysm posing in it. Wonder if they have to ask her to leave the step and repeat, like if some poor wrangler gets assigned the task of ahem-ing Ms Michele to make room for the 10th Kardashian. Full Story

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A wasted effort

May 12, 2010 11:38:40 Posted at May 12, 2010 11:38:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Lainey. Am writing this during the arrivals at the opening of the Cannes Film Festival. We’re shooting the carpet and I’m laughing my Chinese ass off at Kate Beckinsale. Evidently no one told her Cate Blanchett is coming. But what else did we expect? The most notorious OverDresser in the business, of course Kate Beckinsale came like a preening swan, of course she brought her hardest Try, of course she doesn’t realise it never, ever amounts to much, and especially not on a night when Queen Cate takes it up everyone else’s ass. Full Story

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MET Pain: Renee Zellweger

May 4, 2010 11:21:36 Posted at May 4, 2010 11:21:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Does that hurt? Because it looks like it hurts. To be her. It looks like it hurts a lot to be Renee Zellweger. Some stars, you see them, you feel comfortable, at ease, very relaxed. Other stars, like Renee, as soon as the photo comes up you cringe, there’s an ache in your back, you automatically adjust, maybe rub out a shoulder. Full Story

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MET Sit DOWN: Jessica Szohr

May 4, 2010 07:27:38 Posted at May 4, 2010 07:27:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Someone actually posed harder than Renee Zellweger last night, especially when you consider who she actually is. Annoying, barely relevant Vanessa on Gossip Girl showed up at the Met Gala with a lot of Try on her face and a wannabe Jennifer Lopez expression leaving us with two questions: Who? And Why Is? Look at this bitch go for it. Full Story

Speaking of poseharding...

April 23, 2010 09:46:20 Posted at April 23, 2010 09:46:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s like we conjured her! Mentioned the other day that Posh hasn’t been papped in weeks. This is not her usual form. Then several of you mentioned seeing her on Idol the other day. And last night Victoria Beckham stepped out to attend the BritWeek Charity Event in LA, poseharding her fake tits off in a black tuxedo with nothing underneath. Full Story

Renee Z’s short hair

April 23, 2010 09:24:26 Posted at April 23, 2010 09:24:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s been short a while but last night at the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of My Own Love Song, Renee styled it like a pixie that had her hair hacked off on the sides by a teenage gardener who wasn’t paying attention. Hair, I think, is hard for her. Because hers is so limp and thin. Good for no extensions. Full Story

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Pose-Hard is a housewife

April 13, 2010 07:43:30 Posted at April 13, 2010 07:43:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lea Michele is Glee’s hardest poser, no doubt. Look at her. So much Try, and so little need. Because Lea Michele is legitimately talented. That voice, that voice is joy. And yet it’s almost as though she’s telling us that that voice, as pure and perfect as it is, simply isn’t enough. Full Story

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