Intro for September 23, 2016

September 23, 2016 13:30:40 Posted at September 23, 2016 13:30:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Rob Kim/ Getty Images

Dear Gossips,

What’s your Patronus? If I were single and that was the opening line, I’d be inclined to stay for at least a drink.

Pottermore introduced Patronus discovery yesterday. Here’s mine:


My #Patronus is not My Sharona.

A photo posted by Elaine Lui (@laineygossip) on

Did you get an “unusual” too? What’s the difference between an “unusual” Raven and a regular one? And what if you don’t like your Patronus? A Patronus is supposed to be produced when you go to your happy place. My gossip happy place used to be Brange. Is that why my Patronus is a Raven? When I think of a Raven I think of Edgar Allen Poe, studying the poem in school, that taunting asshole of a bird who just keeps repeating “Nevermore” over and over again. Wikipedia tells me that in ancient Greek times, ravens were originally white, and used as spies, until Apollo burned his raven for bringing back news that his girlfriend had cheated on him. Which is why the Raven turned black. Gossip Raven! In the Hebrew Bible, ravens broke the rules by f-cking on Noah’s Ark during the flood. Rogue Raven! Um, also, “the Rabbis believed that the male raven was forced to ejaculate his seed into the female raven's mouth as a means of reproduction”. Kinky Raven!

I’ll take it.

Click here to find your Patronus, if you haven’t already. Hermione’s Patronus is an Otter. Here’s Emma Watson at the UN sessions this week celebrating the HeForShe campaign with Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,


Previous Article Next Article