Quiveration Articles

Hot, quiver-inducing celebrities.

He tried

October 16, 2008 10:09:23 Posted at October 16, 2008 10:09:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And we quivered. My friend Duana was in Ireland recently for a family wedding. Being half Irish, she kinda has an Irish thing. And a Colin Farrell thing. So she’s been keening for Colin and this won’t help the ache… Because last night in New York at the Pride & Glory premiere, Colin Farrell actually tried. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

Try to breathe

October 14, 2008 12:19:00 Posted at October 14, 2008 12:19:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’m warning you. If you are operating machinery, if you are holding your baby, if you are prone to swooning, you need to gird yourself, girls and gays… Because this man. OMFG this man. It’s Colin Farrell at a presser for Pride & Glory. Sweet mother nature of all loins, you are dead inside if you aren’t quivering in your secret places. Full Story

Madge & the MotherChucker

October 14, 2008 08:16:42 Posted at October 14, 2008 08:16:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yesterday’s Gossip Girl should have been called the Cleavage Episode. Boobs everywhere! And Chuck in those ridiculous pants with green socks! Love. This is my shamef*cker motherchucker at the Filth & Wisdom premiere last night with his nasty ass turned out feet that always fill me with a bewildering mixture of disgust and longing. Full Story

Thankful for Hot Harry on a Horse

October 13, 2008 07:46:53 Posted at October 13, 2008 07:46:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hot Harry and his Chelsy Davy went out for dinner the other night and the British press were making a big deal about how they feasted on monkeys swinging from trees and other exotic dishes…or some sh*t like that. I prefer to make a big deal about the fact that Hot Harry looks debloated and I wonder if those foods were aphrodisiacs and I could totally see them mauling each other like two wildcats in the jungle. Full Story

Thankful for Hugh Jackman

October 13, 2008 07:17:56 Posted at October 13, 2008 07:17:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He turned 40 the other day. 40 looks damn good. Here he is with his family at Bronte Beach, playing with the kids, hanging out with his wife, enjoying some lemonade in the sunshine. He’s the hotness, non? Love.Him. And love even more than he doesn’t have a Hollywood Wife. It makes your fantasies possible, you see? Because Hugh Jackson really could love an ordinary woman. Full Story

View All 21 Photos

Hey Baby

October 10, 2008 17:45:00 Posted at October 10, 2008 17:45:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Don’t run away… It’s been ages. Your hair’s long again… I like it. In fact, I like everything about you today. The way you wear your hat, the way you wear your pants, especially your pants, but you're still too skinny, darling.  It hurts me when you're starving. Full Story

Halle’s sexy sh*ts and giggles

October 8, 2008 07:25:00 Posted at October 8, 2008 07:25:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s been named by Esquire as the Sexiest Woman Alive. Word. Not even the Jolie could argue with that. With the help of writer Tom Chiarella, Halle Berry wrote her own article of acceptance for the honour – a candid and entertaining and a tad too “Oprah-y” piece about what turns her on and how she defines sexy. Full Story

Carpet Porn came next

October 5, 2008 08:43:32 Posted at October 5, 2008 08:43:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Here they are, the Brange on the carpet … How ridiculously sick are they together? Sick! They both worked autographs and did the fan thing first for almost half an hour, smiling to everyone, chatting with their hardcore public, and impressing even a jaded New York crowd accustomed to seeing superstars. Full Story

View All 22 Photos

Sushi Porn came first

October 5, 2008 08:02:05 Posted at October 5, 2008 08:02:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh there was porn, alright. There was Pitt Porn. And Pitt Porn is truly the best thing ever. Just ask the screaming fans who lined the street last night outside the Ziegfeld Theatre. They were not disappointed. Because Brad and Angelina brought their best brand of hotness to the carpet to promote The Changeling and sent everyone – from photographers to journalists to fans – swooning in the wake of their hotness. Full Story

Hot Harry on a Horse and Tom Ford?

October 3, 2008 07:50:57 Posted at October 3, 2008 07:50:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Once upon a time, it was Armani for men’s suits. These days… it’s all about Tom Ford. Just ask James Bond. Tom is Bond’s official tailor. And Daniel Craig is all over it: "It's really a crime - it makes me weep every time (I ruin a suit during filming). They are great suits. Full Story

The New Leo

October 1, 2008 09:03:07 Posted at October 1, 2008 09:03:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Softer, gentler, a little more grown up. Certainly Leonardo DiCaprio has his flaws and like most celebrities he can’t help but be a hypocrite on some level. At the very least though, as it relates to privacy and ulterior motives, unlike Shelf Ass and Pipsqueak, when Leo says he abhors the paps, he truly does abhor the paps. Full Story