Quiveration Articles

Hot, quiver-inducing celebrities.

What it’s like to meet Johnny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 17, 2008 12:40:06 October 17, 2008 12:40:06

I’ve been fortunate enough during my time with eTalk to have the opportunity to interview and observe celebrities, to exchange war stories with journalists, to have a glimpse at what it’s like behind the People Magazine bullsh-t…and as you’ve probably gleaned from this column, assy celebrity behaviour is not the exception but almost the rule, and more often than not, it’s not shocking when they’re dicky, but it is when they’re nice. Full Story

The bastard brings the quiver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 17, 2008 10:51:37 October 17, 2008 10:51:37

Damn. One of the first photos of Brad Pitt in costume in Inglorious Bastards as Aldo Raine, a rough son of a bitch who gets it done “hillbilly” styles and makes no apologies. Moistness! It’s the way he wears clothes, you know? And how he holds his body. There may be men who are prettier, or taller, and certainly there are much better actors, those who are more articulate more talented, ore persistent, more deserving… but even if you hate him, it’s also undeniable: Brad Pitt has had “IT” for 20 years. Full Story

Bond… coming

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 16, 2008 14:55:57 October 16, 2008 14:55:57

The Bond franchise has a significant fan base in Canada. As such, Daniel Craig and a few others from Quantum came to Canada for a quick day of media two weeks before the premiere in London. Daniel was supposedly not made available for an official photograph session but paps did catch him leaving the Hazelton Hotel in Yorkville en route to the airport… My friend Laura, who lives for him, as you can imagine she’s been waiting for today for a long, long time and eTalk was one of the outlets to secure an interview. Full Story

He tried

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 16, 2008 10:09:23 October 16, 2008 10:09:23

And we quivered. My friend Duana was in Ireland recently for a family wedding. Being half Irish, she kinda has an Irish thing. And a Colin Farrell thing. So she’s been keening for Colin and this won’t help the ache… Because last night in New York at the Pride & Glory premiere, Colin Farrell actually tried. Full Story

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Try to breathe

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2008 12:19:00 October 14, 2008 12:19:00

I’m warning you. If you are operating machinery, if you are holding your baby, if you are prone to swooning, you need to gird yourself, girls and gays… Because this man. OMFG this man. It’s Colin Farrell at a presser for Pride & Glory. Sweet mother nature of all loins, you are dead inside if you aren’t quivering in your secret places. Full Story

Madge & the MotherChucker

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2008 08:16:42 October 14, 2008 08:16:42

Yesterday’s Gossip Girl should have been called the Cleavage Episode. Boobs everywhere! And Chuck in those ridiculous pants with green socks! Love. This is my shamef*cker motherchucker at the Filth & Wisdom premiere last night with his nasty ass turned out feet that always fill me with a bewildering mixture of disgust and longing. Full Story

Thankful for Hot Harry on a Horse

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 13, 2008 07:46:53 October 13, 2008 07:46:53

Hot Harry and his Chelsy Davy went out for dinner the other night and the British press were making a big deal about how they feasted on monkeys swinging from trees and other exotic dishes…or some sh*t like that. I prefer to make a big deal about the fact that Hot Harry looks debloated and I wonder if those foods were aphrodisiacs and I could totally see them mauling each other like two wildcats in the jungle. Full Story

Thankful for Hugh Jackman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 13, 2008 07:17:56 October 13, 2008 07:17:56

He turned 40 the other day. 40 looks damn good. Here he is with his family at Bronte Beach, playing with the kids, hanging out with his wife, enjoying some lemonade in the sunshine. He’s the hotness, non? Love.Him. And love even more than he doesn’t have a Hollywood Wife. It makes your fantasies possible, you see? Because Hugh Jackson really could love an ordinary woman. Full Story

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Hey Baby

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 10, 2008 17:45:00 October 10, 2008 17:45:00

Don’t run away… It’s been ages. Your hair’s long again… I like it. In fact, I like everything about you today. The way you wear your hat, the way you wear your pants, especially your pants, but you're still too skinny, darling.  It hurts me when you're starving. Full Story

Halle’s sexy sh*ts and giggles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 07:25:00 October 8, 2008 07:25:00

She’s been named by Esquire as the Sexiest Woman Alive. Word. Not even the Jolie could argue with that. With the help of writer Tom Chiarella, Halle Berry wrote her own article of acceptance for the honour – a candid and entertaining and a tad too “Oprah-y” piece about what turns her on and how she defines sexy. Full Story

Carpet Porn came next

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2008 08:43:32 October 5, 2008 08:43:32

Here they are, the Brange on the carpet … How ridiculously sick are they together? Sick! They both worked autographs and did the fan thing first for almost half an hour, smiling to everyone, chatting with their hardcore public, and impressing even a jaded New York crowd accustomed to seeing superstars. Full Story

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