Kevin (still) hates Reese

March 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at March 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
If you read my column from a couple of weeks ago, you are probably already familiar with the fact that Reese Witherspoon is not high on Kevin Smith’s love list. And even though that article was written a few years ago, Kevin’s hate-on is still erect and pulsing. According to the NY Daily News, during a recent speech at the University of Pennsylvania, Kevin railed on La Reese yet again and this time, he dropped the c-bomb! "I did vote for her for "Walk the Line" because she was so good. I forgot how much I hated that c—!" Dammm-uh! Them’s fightin’ words! As you would expect, Reese has chosen to ignore the burly beast, taking the soccer mom high road and turning the other cheek. And although I certainly don’t approve of Kevin’s saucy vocabulary – it’s the one word my husband uses too liberally when he’s behind the wheel – there is actually some substance behind his intense dislike of America’s perfect sweetheart. You know about the Oscar campaign. You know about the engineered career. And she might look adorable but as I’ve been telling you for a while now, the girl is not the apple pie sweetness you want to believe she is. Here’s an exclusive reader encounter that shows Reese from a much snottier perspective, thanks to my girl C: “Reese and Deacon were having lunch at a sidewalk café. Another couple was also there lunching with their little boy. Kids are kids and it didn"t take long for the two tiny tots to notice each other and make "eyes" but Reese never once would glance in the parents direction. Being a parent myself, most of the time you just strike up an innocent conversation because the kids are obviously noticing one another. Anyway, Reese continues to ignore the parents while trying to get her child to ignore this other little kid! Finally, as the parents left, she hears the mother tell Reese how cute her child is- and all Reese does is look at her without saying a word! Not one word, just looks at her as if to say, how dare you talk to me.” Now do I care if Reese is a bitch? Hells no! I love bitches! And nothing could make me happier than to know that Reese Witherspoon is more Icepick-up-her-Ass Gwyneth than she is Pandering-Pity-Party Jen. But for those of you who believe the illusion – I’m sorry to have to tell you, Mrs. Philippe is just as packaged and crafted as the rest of them. Which means I’ve just managed to piss off legions of Witherspoon psychotic fans. Hmmmm… wonder if they’re as crazed as the Aniston ones. I sure miss those “DIE OF AIDS” emails they used to send me.
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