Snap & Stiff

August 20, 2009 09:00:18 Posted at August 20, 2009 09:00:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I know what it’s like to pose and look stupid. This is my problem in a photo shoot.

The way they ask you to stand in the most flattering way to catch the light, it’s not comfortable at all. That’s the gift of a model. They work that sh-t and the pictures come out and they look natural.

Unlike Renee Zellweger.

She does not look natural. And what’s even more embarrassing, she looks like she’s trying to be Gisele Bundchen. And this is why I feel sorry for her. And I don’t want to feel sorry for her. Sympathy is not an emotion I enjoy.

But seeing her, sculpted to within an inch of her life, tense and rigid, unable to loosen up even when she’s supposed to be walking out the door – look at that, even mid stride she’s still posing so hard – and you know this is a girl who wants to be something she’s not, at a fashion event, with Anna Wintour no less, desperately hoping to be thought of as something other than the “cute girl”. It’s heartbreaking.

Why is it that Renee Zellweger is referred to as “svelte” when Victoria Beckham is called “too skinny”.

They’re both f-cked, non?

Photos from and Janet Mayer/

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