Let Good Pants be your New Year’s Resolution

December 29, 2011 17:13:08 Posted at December 29, 2011 17:13:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey
MATEI/GVK/ Bauer-Griffin

Robert Pattinson is tall and British and beautiful. My point is that finding a pair of pants that fits him properly should not be such a challenge, oh my God!

Here’s Pattinson arriving at LAX yesterday and all Twi-Hards, a wonderful way to call in the New Year for Twi-Hards because he’s there to rejoin his girlfriend Kristen Stewart. That is great and wonderful.

But hopefully he would have changed first before seeing her. Out of these pants.

These pants that highlight his Mothering Hips. These pants that point out his imaginary Holiday Thigh Thickness. Like, Pattinson is not a stocky guy. But these pants, these pants are making it seem like his THIGHS ARE TOUCHING. I can’t deal with a dude who has thighs that touch. Does Pattinson have touching thighs? Probably not. Again, I blame the pants. And his inability to find a pair of pants that flatters him. I know this is not impossible. His costume designers certainly manage. It’s when he dresses himself that we run into problems. I mean, I’m not saying he has to be vain and go shopping with Kellan Lutz or anything. But you can find a pair of jeans in a second hand clothing store that don’t hug your hips, can’t you?

Good tidings to you in 2012, Robert Pattinson. May goods pants be part of your Happy New Year.

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