House Porn: Robert Pattinson’s Graceland for Twi-Hards

October 22, 2013 13:42:16 Posted at October 22, 2013 13:42:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Robert Pattinson is selling the house he once shared with Kristen Stewart. The list price right now is $6.75 million. Features:

1.45 acres, beautifully landscaped
3 bedrooms
3 and a half bath
lagoon pool
amphitheatre

And, of course, the most important selling feature: LOVE.

This was where Robsten LOVED.

If I had the time, I’d round up a group of investors to raise the money to turn this home into a Twilight museum/masturbation amusement park. Run screenings in the amphitheatre. Dramatic readings can happen outside in the garden. Kellan Lutz will take his shirt off for her in the pool. He needs the job.

Then there are the “special opportunities” on top of the price of admission:

$100 to cuddle on the couch where Robsten used to write poetry at each other

$250 to rub one out on the bed where Robsten used to have sex

$500 for the right to use their showerhead in between your legs

15 minutes for every customer, on top of the price of admission.

Think about it. These are people who voluntarily had Pattinson’s face tattooed all over their backs. You don’t think they would save up to come to their version of Graceland? Conservatively there’s the potential to gross $20K a day. You’d make back the entire investment in a year.

Should we Kickstarter this sh-t?

Click here to see more pictures of Robert Pattinson’s house.

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