Robert Pattinson in Rob Ford’s afterglow

November 15, 2013 16:18:32 Posted at November 15, 2013 16:18:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Alberto E. Rodriguez/ Getty

It is a new day. And Mayor Rob Ford is at City Hall in Toronto. The morning is full of possibilities. Yesterday morning Ford talked about eating pussy and how much pussy he gets at home with his wife. Right now, as I write this post, I’m listening to him speak live on television about his executive committee. People in the audience and other councillors keep snickering loudly as he talks. Many councillors want him removed or at least his powers reduced.

Maybe later he’ll put on his football jersey and grab his crotch. What? You can’t put anything past this man. This is why he’s so wonderful. This is why he’s my Christmas. And this is why I’ve been levitating, floating on a cloud of happiness. Ford has a witching hour every day. What will today’s witching hour bring? Yesterday’s witching hour resulted in me finding Benedict Cumberbatch more attractive than ever before. Today’s witching hour hasn’t even happened yet and already Robert Pattinson is looking appealing.

Pattinson was in a great mood at the GO GO Gala last night. You see the power of Rob Ford though? I don’t even hate the gross facial hair situation that’s happening on Pattinson’s face now. Normally the close shave on top and the heavy full lower hillbilly beard thing would be repulsive to me. But Rob Ford’s afterglow has made it tolerable.

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