You Were Just a Conquest

February 25, 2016 16:32:06 Posted at February 25, 2016 16:32:06
Maria Posted by Maria
Brad Barket/ Beck Starr/ Adela Loconte/ Getty Images

How much did you love Cruel Intentions? It is the big sister to Gossip Girl – privilege, horny teens and backstabbing on the Upper East Side. And it had some pop culture lasting power – the coke in the crucifix, Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s kiss, the journal reveal. Also, um, it gave us Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon (with an emphasis on Reese, obviously).

For people of a certain age, Cruel Intentions was a perfect bit of fluff that turned into something denser, the weekend movie you watch when you want something young that won’t make you feel old. And yes it was based on the more prestigious Dangerous Liasons (based on the play and novel, Les Liaisons dangereuses), but that isn’t what defined it. The motivations - love, cruelty, betrayal, abandonment, manipulation – hold up in any era, under any circumstances. These are the stories of life.

Kathryn promising to f-ck her stepbrother Sebastian if he manages to de-virginize abstinence advocate Annette -- that is a tale as old as time, OK?

And the cast has held up, too. Joshua Jackson, Selma Blair, Sean Patrick Thomas, Ryan Phillippe, and obviously Reese – there’s a lot of meat on those bones. No one pulled a Lohan.

So with the announcement that the show would become a TV series on NBC, well, there was reason to be hopeful about casting (except, obviously, Ryan Phillippe's Sebastian). Sarah Michelle Gellar has made our (my?) dreams come true, posting this photo to Instagram. She is involved, yes, and it’s substantive. A grown-up Kathryn is battling for control of the family business when Bash shows up. Who is Bash?

Oh he’s just Annette and Sebastian’s son.


COME ON, this is just the kind of pulpy twist a show like this needs. Once introduced to the UES life, Bash finds out about his father’s past and falls into the same sex/drugs/morally corrupt world.

This isn’t the first time we’ve been teased with a reunion. But as Lainey mentioned at the time, there was stuff in the movie… would it make it on TV today? The blackmail, the manipulative sexual relationships, the drugs. Would virginity be allowed to be treated with such disdain? Or, if set in 2016, would hero Annette foil Sebastian’s plans? That movie would have sucked.

NBC better not neuter this. Let teenagers behave how teenagers should behave – like selfish sh-theads who have no conscience or fear of consequences. Isn’t that what teenagers are for? I don’t want to watch beautiful young people making responsible and mature decisions.

And I want the adults too. Sarah Michelle Gellar is a great start, and I think the Bash storyline is inspired. It’s bridging the past/present, without forcing in Jenny Garth as a substitute teacher (or whatever they tried to do on 90210). Of course with her son on the show, Annette can show up at any time.

Will Reese clear her schedule for this? I have to say, I really really really hope so. Just for fun. Just for sh-ts and giggles. When Reese wants to play, she can play. And now that she’s focused on producing and developing projects, she might want to scratch that itch, and bask in the flood of attention that will surely come with it. (A tiny suggestion: Annette now runs an e-commerce store focused on Southern-themed  products.)

Selma Blair, I’m guessing, will pop up. Swoosie Kurtz or Christine Baranski could find a storyline, that would be fun. But Reese would be unreal. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I am.


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