Sasha Answers: I’m getting the fade-out

November 26, 2012 19:30:38 Posted at November 26, 2012 19:30:38
Sasha Posted by Sasha
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Hi Sasha, I'm 24, and two years ago I met a guy at uni lets call him R.  He was on exchange from the country my parents are from and we became pretty good friends in the year he was here. When he went back - we kept in touch and in Sep this year I went to my home country to visit family and flew down from his city to meet me. We hung out a lot and ended up making out one day, we started what'sapping all the time and I started to really like him. I was a bit skeptical as I live in another country but we agreed to see how things went. I got back home and we were always calling, texting every day and skyping 3-4 times a week. He was coming to visit me in a month and I was going back in Jan 2013 as well. I thought things were going great! he said he didn’t want me to see anyone else and he wouldn’t be either- I really thought it was going somewhere.

One day he just stopped. I mean stopped whatspping, stopped skyping, stopped calling. I reached out and he said he was just busy- I left it for a week and then reached out again. Same story. Its now been almost a month and he just hasn’t replied to my last two messages. I'm no stalker so I wasn’t flooding his phone- just a simple hey, what's new?  Do I message him again and bluntly ask him what the hell is up?How can I get over a situation when I have no clue what happened? L

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I know every person reading your letter feels your pain L, because we’ve all been duped by a dude; not only does it leave you heartbroken, but it leaves you f-cking angry.

The worst part of it all is I'm sure you were trying to be cautious, right?  You treaded into this relationship lightly because the LAST thing you wanted to do was get boned.  And what did he do?  He got you riiiight to the point where you finally felt the T-word – TRUST – and then he cold hard dissed you. Muther. F-cker.

So this is what you do, L:  nothing.

What he’s doing right now is the fade-out; he’s trying to give you the message without actually manning up and telling you.  And I think we can all agree here that his "I'm busy" excuse is just a pansy ass cop-out because the truth is, he’s not interested in you anymore and there's a good chance he's met another girl.

I know, every cell in your body wants to pick up the phone and tell him what a dick he is, but I promise you, it won’t make any difference because the fact is, he doesn’t care.  It sucks, but L, you need to face this so that you can stop hanging onto some hope that, well, there’s hope.  It ain’t happening.  There’s nothing you can do to convince him.  My advice is to move on.

Thanks for writing in and keep me posted! xx
 

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