Sasha Answers: Alone > Unhappy
Hi Sasha, I'm writing because I need some tough love in my life. Here's the story: last July I met a guy called T through Tinder, he seemed nice, I was horny and just saw it as a casual thing that wouldn't mean anything to me... Fast foward 8 months and we're still talking and see each other from time to time. When we see each other the main event is having sex, of course, but the truth is I'm starting to have feelings for him. It's not like I'm in love, but I do feel fond of him.
Here's the thing, I don't need to ask him to know that he doesn't feel the same way, it's just so obvious to me... I know I should end this but I can't. I feel lonely and he's the only guy in my life right now. So what do I do? Please help me. Y
You’ve heard it before: It's better to be alone than unhappy with someone. And Y, I mean, this couldn’t apply more in your life than right now.
Look, I get it, a hungry girl’s gotta eat – I’m all for the empowerment of random (SAFE!!!!) sex, but once you realize that you’re ready to get out of that phase and get into something more committed then you have to be prepared for the great potential of it not panning out. The reality is that when you've set the casual sex precedent and live within it for a time, it's hard to make the relationship crossover. I don’t know exactly why - it's just some emotional math thing....
Unfortunately though that’s where we find you, Y. The dude isn't down – you said it. So bud, if you know that why would you want to stick around any longer?! I know you feel lonely but you’re just as lonely with him, you know? Because as it stands now this ‘relationship’ is so sub-par, so unfulfilling, so hollow, that you’re only lying to yourself if you think that you’re in “this” with someone else.
It’s still just you. You see that, right?
But here's the thing, there’s nothing wrong with riding this time in your life on the solo tip. So my advice to you is instead of investing your emotions into something that’s not going to work out why don’t you ditch him and look for something that actually has potential? There's no future in a relationship with no future.
Thanks for writing in and keep your questions coming to email@example.com.