Sasha Answers: Am I a bridezilla?
Hi Sasha! I’m getting married in four months to the man of my dreams and full disclosure: I’m a full grown bridezilla right now. I acknowledge it, I own it, I know I can turn into a real pain in the ass within 3 seconds, but guess what? It’s my wedding, and I’m planning on it being the one and only. I have six bridesmaids, they’ve all accepted the fact that I’ll be on bridezilla mode until the day after my wedding, and most of them are fine with it, cause really, I ate a lot of their sh-t when two of them got married. I walked down the aisle once looking like a proper marshmallow but put on the brightest smile ever.
So long story short, I’m now having issues with two of my bridesmaids. My fiancé wanted me to include his sister in my party. We’re friendly and I figured we’re gonna be family soon, so sure. Our colours are gold and white. I don’t want to be the bride that makes her bridesmaids look like marshmallow, so mine are free to pick their own dresses, but they have to follow two simple rules: the exact same colour for all them, and I need to pre-approve the dress before they buy it. That’s not too bridezilla of me, is it?
Anyways, now my sister-to-be is annoying me to pieces cause she “doesn’t look good in gold”. WTF? It’s supposed to be my day! She’ll only compromise on a very, very light yellow, borderline white, and sorry, but that's not happening. So my compromise is to kick her out of my wedding party, but my fiancé is getting upset about it. And my other issue is that my bridesmaid who made me walk down her aisle looking like a marshmallow, wants her husband to be one of the groomsmen. My fiancé’s already picked all of his groomsmen, and he doesn’t know my friend’s husband, and doesn’t even want to talk about including him in. So as if I wasn’t crazy enough already, these two women are irritating the crap out of me, and I need your advice on how to deal with them, Sasha!
I have to admit that after reading the first line of your email I almost ignored your ass because most bridezillas are just too f-cking tweaked to be rational. BUTTTTT…in this instance you are actually the sane one; so S, I've got your back.
Seriously, someone needs to do a brain study on what happens to a person's mental state when a wedding is announced. For some reason it brings out the ugly, as you've noticed with the two women in your wedding party. I mean, how they even think their requests are rational is kind of beyond me.
Okay, so first, let's tackle the sister-in-law. I figure you’ve already tried to talk to her about this whole “gold not being her color” thing, so it’s time to get your fiancé/her brother involved. Dude needs to step up to the goddamn plate and go to bat for you. He needs to tell her that unfortunately for her, there’s no compromising and if she respects him, she’ll shut up and put on a frickin' gold dress. STAT. I’d be totally surprised if this didn’t work.
Now onto the other issue - this one is yours to take on. While it’s super nerdy that your friend is trying to push her husband into the mix, this is an easy fix. All you need to do is give him some sort of consolation prize: Can he make a toast to all the guests before the reception? Can you appoint him honorary usher? Can he announce the first dance? You see what I’m getting at? Just get him to do something that you could give two sh-ts about, but wrap it up in a big pretty bow and sell it like it’s real important. Done and Done.
Lastly, I have a little advice for you: S, I know you’re owning the hell out of this whole bridezilla thing, but if you really want this day to be wonderful and all about you, then you need to get people on your side. Being a tyrant isn’t going to do that for you, so pull back on the reins a bit, and try to enjoy the JOY of the day, instead of so desperately trying to make it “perfect”.
Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming to firstname.lastname@example.org